Reflections

on the back end of homeschooling

I’ve been wondering what I should call this post: Homeschool Update. Life Update. Big Transitions. So much new and exciting. Homeschool Life Nearing Its End. The Busiest Year of my Life.  ???

All of that is true, but none of it makes a good title. What is also true is that this is the first week I have had the headspace to think, relax and want to write something here. We are also starting to feel the beginnings of autumn weather. I think those two things go together. It’s a time of transition.

This year has been sad and difficult. I lost my mother to dementia this spring, but I’m grateful I was able to help her in her final days. I am working on a memorial service for her now, so that’s keeping my brain occupied. It saddens me as I write this realizing how much of the motivation I had for keeping a blog was to keep my Mom in the loop. She was probably the only person on Earth who read everything I wrote, and I often wrote with her in mind. In the early days, I posted photographs of my boys, and I knew she would enjoy that. There is an absence here as I type, and this may be one reason why I don’t blog as much.

The biggest news I have is that my youngest boy decided to attend 8th grade at a brick and mortar school this year! Making this decision, finding the right school, and helping him prepare for it took up most of last year (along with helping my mother). It filled me with worry and anxiety, wanting to pivot when I realized homeschool wasn’t working for him anymore, but what to do next? There’s too much to write and say about this, and it’s not all my story to tell. But I will tell you that I’m thrilled with this decision, and he’s happy too. He’s enjoying school. In fact, I would say that because he spent so many years homeschooling, it gave him a great foundation and love of learning so that school is actually interesting to him. Or maybe it’s just a case of “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” haha. Either way, it was the right decision and right time for him.

It was also the right time for me. While I have heard of families who successfully homeschool several kids all the way through high school, I found it challenging to give both boys what they needed, especially as they entered into higher grades. I am still homeschooling my 11th grader, and it’s been a challenge figuring out how to give him a good high school education while making his musical studies a priority. However, also because of that, his needs are easier to meet at home. My younger son, on the other hand, does not know what he wants to do for a career, and, of course, that’s normal for a 14-year-old. He still wants to explore, although he’s always leaned a bit toward science with a special interest in ornithology. Because of this, I want to make sure he gets very good science classes, and frankly, I just didn’t feel I could do this at home. I have not found adequate homeschool science curriculum for four years of high school science credits with at least three including labs, i.e. biology, chemistry, physics and one other. (I emphasize four years because it all depends on what the state law requires, and in the case of my state law, it allows a homeschool parent to decide what is required for the homeschool high school diploma. For my youngest son, since he’s interested in science, I want him to have what is required by the state to graduate from a public high school, and that’s four years of science.)

Yes, there are good online science classes. My eldest son took a good online biology class, and we were able to complete the labs without a problem. But chemistry at home? Perhaps someone will write a comment here and tell me about a great chemistry class I did not find, but in 2022-2023, I looked at many options, and I thought my elder son’s online course was just adequate. Maybe I have too high of expectations, but I did not want to take chances on my younger son who might go into science.

As a side note, I do know of a highly rated online private high school, and there are other online high schools I did not look at, but the best one costs just as much as a private school. :/ So it can be done at home, but for a price we weren’t willing to pay. Also, I’m sure there are parents who are willing and able to do awesome chemistry labs at home by buying the equipment and figuring it all out themselves, but I am not one of those parents.

When my boys were very little, I heard a veteran homeschool mom say in a very soothing, Southern drawl: “Ima buuuurned out homeschool mom.” At that time, I was feeling excitement over all the possibilities homeschooling would give us. Now I know what she was feeling too.

However, I’m not totally burned out yet. I love that I still have some homeschool years left with my eldest son, and we’ll be doing American Literature this year — THIS IS MY SUBJECT. **happy dance**

But I see my days as a homeschool mom winding down, and I’m not unhappy about this. Mentally, I am tired when it comes to most things homeschool, and the excitement I had many years ago to homeschool high school has been replaced by the reality that while it can be done, it’s not easy.

Luckily, it’s all working out for the best. I am so happy to see my boys growing up, becoming independent, having opinions and wanting more than what is within this house and what I’m capable of giving them. Really, this has been my goal all along…..to create two individuals who know what they’re interested in, who value learning, who love to read, who are creative, confident, kind and willing to work toward their goals.

I feel like I’ve accomplished so much, and it brings me joy.

Thanks for reading this far. Remember I’m always available by email to answer your questions. I never get tired of helping other parents.

on the back end of homeschooling Read More »

Slow and Steady

Time plays tricks on us. There are days that I feel the swift passing of time. I turned fifty recently, yet I hardly feel fifty. Well, maybe my aches and pains tell me I’m fifty, but all the memories from my life are stacked up neatly in my brain as if they happened yesterday. Something might trigger a forgotten memory, and it will come alive as if I just lived it.

My boys grow taller. They both have deeper voices now. Weren’t they just chubby cheeked and needing more hugs? Weren’t they just knee-deep in projects that created chaos on our activity room floor?

I am being swept away in this river of time, and I can never get to the shore.

On the other hand, when I think about homeschooling, I notice how this is a slow life. We tend to want to speed it up. We want our children to learn how to read so that we can tick that off our list of anxieties:

“Can I teach my kid how to read? I think I can, but I won’t know until they start reading. Lesson time, kids!” But maybe our child isn’t ready to read, so we reign in our impatience and go at their pace. Slow and steady.

“When will I get around to teaching a foreign language? I have so many other subjects I need to teach.”

“Why are they having trouble with math? They weren’t having trouble last week. Is it the curriculum? Is it me?”

There is so much about this life that we won’t be sure about until it’s all over. Tests don’t tell us everything we’d like to know. This can be hard. For most of my homeschooling-parenting life, I have had a good dose of confidence with a heaping spoonful of insecurity — perhaps just enough to keep me on my toes.

For anyone venturing onto this path of home education, I would say that if you’re reading this, you’re probably reading other materials on homeschooling too. You’re probably doing a lot of research about your options and any particular issues that you are dealing with. If you’re doing that, then I have confidence that you’re a good parent, and you’ll be just fine. You may have bad days. You may have years that aren’t the greatest. But this a slow road.

You build an education for a child bit by bit, according to what he/she/they can handle. You won’t notice the progress until one day something jumps out at you. Your child might say something very kind, they may do something generous, and you’ll be awash with relief — you fostered a nice person! Another day, your child may be presented with a challenge that you have no control over, and — bam — they handle it beautifully. Or you may get those standardized test results and — whoa!– your child scored in the 95th percentile! You weren’t expecting that, but now you’re a happy homeschooling mom.

You’re never expecting it, but time will take care of all your worries. If you feel you need to try something else, trust me, you have time. Kids unfold like flowers, one or two petals at a time, and you’ll know what you need to do when you need to do it. Enjoy being home with your kids. Enjoy the slowness of this path. Enjoy the uncertainty too because tomorrow that one will be gone and there may be a bigger uncertainty looming.

Nothing stays the same, and while it doesn’t always feel like it, this river of time is swift. I’m going to drift along and see where it takes me.

Is time going too fast or too slow for you today? Please answer in the comments section. And if you need any help with homeschooling, I hope you’ll check out my store. Thanks!

Slow and Steady Read More »