Homeschool Graduate

~ shelli ~ 4 Comments
Photo from a trip to the beach in 2012.

It’s time to jump for joy because I have a homeschool graduate. He should get more accolades than just a diploma and blog post, but there isn’t a lot of pomp and circumstance when there’s just one student in the school.

At five-years-old, he was a nature boy, and he loved snakes. Later he got into building things. He made countless toys out of cardboard, and he had Lego sets and robots, and he took pottery classes too. Then he found the piano, and that was it. However, all these things he still enjoys. He’s still likes to wander around the woods and see what critters and plants he can find, and he loves looking at art and admiring other artists’ craftsmanship. I love that he’s such an interesting, likeable person.

Last month marked the end of his homeschool education as he finished all the requirements his dad and I set forth for his high school diploma, which are typical college entrance requirements but with a focus on foreign language (Chinese and German) and piano performance (due to his strong interest in these areas). During high school, he practiced piano 4~6 hours a day, 7 days a week, taking time off only occasionally. This was his choice. Next year, he will be auditioning for music conservatories, so our journey is not over yet! But right now I want to bask in the fact that I actually did it….I homeschooled my son for his entire K-12 education, and despite all the stress and worry I experienced, it worked out!

His academic and music achievements might satisfy the naysayers, but I’m more happy that he’s curious and likes learning. This was my ultimate goal — to raise life-long learners. More importantly, he’s a kind and friendly young man (I’ve been told by others who have met him). He’s extremely hardworking, so I know that he’ll create a career in music, though I don’t know what that will look like yet. He’s not in it for fame or money; he loves music. He’s truly remarkable, and I know I’m biased, but he really is. I couldn’t ask for more reward than this as I close out my “homeschool parent” career.

2025

Yesterday my husband told me that he knew I spent thousands of hours homeschooling our kids, researching homeschool resources and reading about education philosophies. He said he knows because he saw me do it. My graduate asked me how it felt to have my life’s work finished, and he told me that homeschooling him and his brother may be my life’s greatest achievement, and it’s nothing to snuff at. So this is my reward too. I am glad that the people who count appreciate my work.

However, my life’s not over! This is just a new beginning. I have a bit more work to do for my boys, but I will also enter a new phase of my life, and I look forward to it.

Although I don’t blog very much anymore, I may add a few updates now and again. If you ever have questions about homeschooling, I’m happy to answer them and offer encouragement. You can reach out anytime.

Homeschooling Senior Year

~ shelli ~ 2 Comments

I’m in the middle of my eldest son’s senior year, and my younger son is a freshman at a private school near here. Oh the mixed feelings I have. Some days I feel blue because we’re nearing the end of an era. Many days I’m excited for the future. I’m also a little anxious because the future is unknown. We have plans, and we think they’re good plans, but who knows? This is what makes life exciting, though.

Some good news from this year is that my pianist received a 2024 YoungArts Award, which, according to the website, was given to “nearly 700 of the most accomplished young visual, literary and performing artists from across the country, heralding the next generation of artists to watch.” You can follow my son on his YouTube channel, and I’ll be sure to write a post when we’re celebrating his homeschool graduation.

Other than these awards and inevitable milestones, I don’t feel I have the right to tell my boys’ stories because they are at an age where privacy is important. All I can say is that they both seem happy about where they are, and I’m very proud of their work ethic. I’m especially proud of the feedback I get from other people who tell me how kind they are. That makes my heart sing. It makes all those years of homeschooling and sacrifice worth it.

Even though I still have more work to do with my homeschooled senior, and my high school student needs me to drive him to school among other brick-and-mortar-school-parent-duties (it’s a strange place to be after homeschooling all these years!), I have been giving more thought to what my life is going to look like after my boys are finished with school here–after they are away at a conservatory or college–yikes. I can’t believe I am at this point in our homeschool journey.

I have started to build a new community for myself that isn’t tied to having young children. I have started writing more too. This is all I have right now, but I hope my post-homeschooling journey might also include more gardening, traveling with my husband, and some kind of work. I’m 53 years old, so I don’t know what I’ll do. It’s all simmering like when you first add the ingredients to your pot. There’s no aroma yet, and it needs more salt. It’ll be a while before I have a comforting soup.

That’s all I can tell you for now. If you don’t mind sharing, where are you in your homeschooling journey?  Remember, I’m always happy to answer your questions about homeschooling/not homeschooling. Just send me an email.

Happy Spring and Homeschooling Update

~ shelli ~ Leave a comment

Every spring American goldfinches visit our yard.

At the beginning of April in Georgia, spring is still beginning. The windy days of March are coming to a close, and the daffodils are fading. Flowering trees such as the cherry blossoms and dogwoods are blooming or beginning to. Tiny green buds appear on the hardwood trees. Quickly, the buds become small, bright leaves, and when the sunlight shines through them, it’s like looking at a yard filled with green jewels. By the end of the month, the columbine and yellow irises are blooming, and the leaves on the trees are big and dark green. Shade takes over the yard. The outside temperatures are perfect, and I decide to spend as much time as I can in the yard because I know the hot days are just around the corner.

Remember the trail my boys and I worked on in our backyard many years ago? Since nature has no obligation to keep up the path for us, it was completely overgrown again, and I couldn’t see it anymore. So I decided to remedy that by myself. I also cut down numerous vines that were smothering trees, and I picked up fallen branches and cut back enough growth so that I can walk more easily on the path. I did the same in the front yard, and I even made a few new paths. The work has been rejuvenating for the yard and me.

My husband and I have also been inspired by watching “Gardener’s World” on Prime this year. He’s been helping me pick out some new plants, and I’ve also been able to divide some favorite plants too. However, I would say our garden beds are looking great mostly because all the plants we added in the past are now big and lush! It just goes to show what you can do if you start small, keep adding little by little, and have lots of patience. I’ve always said my yard is on a 30 year plan, and that’s about right. (We’ve lived here almost 21 years!)

It’s the first spring I have had time to work in the yard on this scale for several years. The past few years we were busy taking our eldest son to piano competitions and performances; I was still homeschooling both boys; last year we were looking for a school for my younger son, and my mother was dying, which was difficult and took up a lot of my brain space. When spring sprung this year, I felt a sense of release.

Speaking of growing big, you wouldn’t believe how tall my boys have grown! My eldest son has been taking a break from piano competitions and other performances so that he can work on advanced repertoire and also focus on finishing his high school academic studies. I can’t believe how close we’re getting the homeschool finish line! Since he will be applying to music conservatories, he will most likely take an extra year or so to practice his repertoire, and we also need to travel to the schools and have him meet the professors. When applying to music schools, the most important consideration is the professor he will work with, so he needs to find someone that can help him grow as a pianist.

My younger son is in his last month of 8th grade and his first year at a not-at-home school. He has been thriving at school, and it’s given him the resources and challenges he needed. Recently he went on a three day trip with his classmates and he came back feeling even more part of the school community. I feel proud that I must have done something right in order to prepare him to do so well at school.

Recently I have been looking back at some early posts I wrote on this blog. I was quite surprised to see that I have published 668 posts! (669 with this one) And my first post was published in January 2011. At that time I was writing a weekly newspaper column, which I did for seven years, and I republished most of those columns on this blog.

I doubt that I have any readers for this blog anymore, especially readers who have been reading my blog from the beginning. But I’m glad I’ve kept this record of our homeschooling journey, and I will continue it until the end, though less frequently. I’m always happy when new homeschoolers email me and let me know that my blog has helped them or inspired them. That makes blogging worth it. 😉

If you have a minute, tell me what you’re doing this spring.

on the back end of homeschooling

~ shelli ~ 7 Comments

A glimpse into the past. Me and my boys at the Chicago Botanical Garden.

I’ve been wondering what I should call this post: Homeschool Update. Life Update. Big Transitions. So much new and exciting. Homeschool Life Nearing Its End. The Busiest Year of my Life.  ???

All of that is true, but none of it makes a good title. What is also true is that this is the first week I have had the headspace to think, relax and want to write something here. We are also starting to feel the beginnings of autumn weather. I think those two things go together. It’s a time of transition.

This year has been sad and difficult. I lost my mother to dementia this spring, but I’m grateful I was able to help her in her final days. I am working on a memorial service for her now, so that’s keeping my brain occupied. It saddens me as I write this realizing how much of the motivation I had for keeping a blog was to keep my Mom in the loop. She was probably the only person on Earth who read everything I wrote, and I often wrote with her in mind. In the early days, I posted photographs of my boys, and I knew she would enjoy that. There is an absence here as I type, and this may be one reason why I don’t blog as much.

The biggest news I have is that my youngest boy decided to attend 8th grade at a brick and mortar school this year! Making this decision, finding the right school, and helping him prepare for it took up most of last year (along with helping my mother). It filled me with worry and anxiety, wanting to pivot when I realized homeschool wasn’t working for him anymore, but what to do next? There’s too much to write and say about this, and it’s not all my story to tell. But I will tell you that I’m thrilled with this decision, and he’s happy too. He’s enjoying school. In fact, I would say that because he spent so many years homeschooling, it gave him a great foundation and love of learning so that school is actually interesting to him. Or maybe it’s just a case of “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” haha. Either way, it was the right decision and right time for him.

It was also the right time for me. While I have heard of families who successfully homeschool several kids all the way through high school, I found it challenging to give both boys what they needed, especially as they entered into higher grades. I am still homeschooling my 11th grader, and it’s been a challenge figuring out how to give him a good high school education while making his musical studies a priority. However, also because of that, his needs are easier to meet at home. My younger son, on the other hand, does not know what he wants to do for a career, and, of course, that’s normal for a 14-year-old. He still wants to explore, although he’s always leaned a bit toward science with a special interest in ornithology. Because of this, I want to make sure he gets very good science classes, and frankly, I just didn’t feel I could do this at home. I have not found adequate homeschool science curriculum for four years of high school science credits with at least three including labs, i.e. biology, chemistry, physics and one other. (I emphasize four years because it all depends on what the state law requires, and in the case of my state law, it allows a homeschool parent to decide what is required for the homeschool high school diploma. For my youngest son, since he’s interested in science, I want him to have what is required by the state to graduate from a public high school, and that’s four years of science.)

Yes, there are good online science classes. My eldest son took a good online biology class, and we were able to complete the labs without a problem. But chemistry at home? Perhaps someone will write a comment here and tell me about a great chemistry class I did not find, but in 2022-2023, I looked at many options, and I thought my elder son’s online course was just adequate. Maybe I have too high of expectations, but I did not want to take chances on my younger son who might go into science.

As a side note, I do know of a highly rated online private high school, and there are other online high schools I did not look at, but the best one costs just as much as a private school. :/ So it can be done at home, but for a price we weren’t willing to pay. Also, I’m sure there are parents who are willing and able to do awesome chemistry labs at home by buying the equipment and figuring it all out themselves, but I am not one of those parents.

When my boys were very little, I heard a veteran homeschool mom say in a very soothing, Southern drawl: “Ima buuuurned out homeschool mom.” At that time, I was feeling excitement over all the possibilities homeschooling would give us. Now I know what she was feeling too.

However, I’m not totally burned out yet. I love that I still have some homeschool years left with my eldest son, and we’ll be doing American Literature this year — THIS IS MY SUBJECT. **happy dance**

But I see my days as a homeschool mom winding down, and I’m not unhappy about this. Mentally, I am tired when it comes to most things homeschool, and the excitement I had many years ago to homeschool high school has been replaced by the reality that while it can be done, it’s not easy.

Luckily, it’s all working out for the best. I am so happy to see my boys growing up, becoming independent, having opinions and wanting more than what is within this house and what I’m capable of giving them. Really, this has been my goal all along…..to create two individuals who know what they’re interested in, who value learning, who love to read, who are creative, confident, kind and willing to work toward their goals.

I feel like I’ve accomplished so much, and it brings me joy.

Thanks for reading this far. Remember I’m always available by email to answer your questions. I never get tired of helping other parents.

How to Save Your Sanity While Homeschooling

~ shelli ~ 1 Comment

Photo circa 2011. It’s time to start recycling old photos. This might be fun.

It’s not always helpful to tell parents “don’t worry” and “you’ve got this.” For some parents, it comes natural to take the relaxed approach to homeschooling, but at some point, every parent wants to see the positive results of homeschooling. If they relax too much, will they see results?

It truly depends on what your goals are for your family and your kids. As you begin homeschooling, I would have a serious talk with your partner or spouse about what you hope the end goal is for your kids. In other words, what are you preparing them for?

Are you preparing them to attend the local high school? Or maybe you just want to homeschool for the elementary years? If so, homeschooling may look different for you than for the kids who are going to homeschool K-12. Do you want them to find what fulfills them? Do you want them to be capable of finding a full-time job and supporting themselves? Do you want them to attend college? A local college or a top university? Is your main goal to foster kind, generous, productive citizens? Preparing them for one thing doesn’t mean you won’t be preparing them for all these other things, but it will give you a kind of compass when you sit down to make your homeschool plans. Also, you can be flexible as your kids grow and they begin to form their own ideas about what they want.

Frankly, I don’t think any goal is wrong as long as it’s not too rigid and the expectations aren’t too high or too low. Different parents have very different opinions about what they want for their kids. Some push their kids to succeed in a lucrative field and don’t offer any other choice. Other parents think that’s a terrible way to parent. I’ve met enough families to realize that all parents hope their kids will be happy even if they don’t believe that should be the end goal. Depending on culture and personal history, pushy parents have their reasons. Sometimes it’s the not-so-pushy parents who had pushy parents themselves, so now they are more of a I-just-want-you-to-be-happy kind of parent, but then they end up not giving their kids much guidance or practical skills.

I think there’s always a middle way. And to save your sanity, you need to take the middle way while homeschooling. Don’t stress out watching what other parents are doing and knock yourself out trying to do those things too. Don’t buy the curriculums that look good but are not a good fit for your child. Don’t join every activity or worry about trying to make a dozen friends for your homeschooled kids. If you feel overwhelmed, relax for awhile and enjoy this extra time with them.

Then you can think about what your “hope for” goals are. Observe your kids and think about what skills could benefit them in the long-term, and if they show interest in something, start to think about what you could do to support that. Maybe you can find some other kids with similar interests. But don’t go overboard. You can let things unfold naturally, but doing some research and keeping a folder of opportunities for the future isn’t a bad idea either. [When your kid does participate in activities, projects and great field trips, keep good records because you never know what your kid might want to apply for someday.]

As for figuring out how to teach the school subjects, take your time researching one subject at a time. What seems like a good resource for your kid? If they are already reading all the science books from the juvenile section of the library on their own, maybe you don’t have to worry about teaching science yet. What do they struggle with? That’s the area you want to focus on. Spend time researching and trying out different curricula, but be prepared to put aside what doesn’t work. If your child is young, maybe all they need is to wait a year or two before you try again. If they are in high school, maybe it’s time to hire a tutor, so you don’t have to worry about doing it yourself.

There are so many more resources available to homeschoolers now than when I started homeschooling, and some of them are extremely affordable. A lot of kids excel in one or two subjects and don’t do as well in another, so finding that right balance for your kid is essential. You shouldn’t feel like you have to teach every subject, especially if you don’t feel confident in that area, or your child struggles in it. You can also lower your expectations. Maybe they will never be a math whiz, but they are great writers. Support that. As for math, find out how much math they’ll need for whatever their goals are and don’t expect them to go beyond that. (Assessing this is easier in high school.)

You may not be able to achieve what that other family is doing, but you will be able to achieve your own family’s goals, if you are sensible and, yes, you relax! It may sound contradictory, but by taking the time to think about your goals, your kids’ goals, and the resources available, you will feel more relaxed. Make a yearly ritual of reevaluating your goals, such as spending a few days each summer thinking things through and discussing the year ahead with your family. Then you can relax and do what is most important: spend quality time with your kids. Ultimately, homeschooling is about fostering good relationships with your kids, and when kids have good relationships, they are more likely to succeed in life. I don’t know what parent wouldn’t be happy with that.

I hope you’ll reach out, if you would like someone to talk to about the possibility of homeschooling.

3 Reasons Why I Know You Can Homeschool

~ shelli ~ 2 Comments

I hear some parents who like the idea of homeschooling, but they don’t think they can do it. They say they don’t have the patience. While it’s up to you to decide what you can or can’t do, if you’re on the fence, I think you should go ahead and try. There really isn’t much to lose.

These are three reasons I know you can do it:

Love. If you love your kids and know homeschooling is in their best interests, you’ll be motivated. No one is more important than your child, right? For many kids, homeschooling could be the chance of a lifetime to be themselves, find interests that motivate them to work, and it can also give them the chance to master skills that will benefit them as adults. Let’s face it, traditional school makes kids spread their time too thin. For some, it works, but for many, it does not. They leave school not knowing what they want to do, so they end up floundering until their late 20s until they find what motivates them.

Time is something we can all use more of, and giving your kids the gift of time when they are young is one of the most loving gifts you can give.

Resources. If you want to homeschool, this is a great time to do it. The resources for homeschoolers have probably tripled since I began homeschooling just ten years ago. Most of them are very affordable, and some of them are free. I think for the first few years of elementary school, you could get everything you need at the library and off the Internet, but you can also find lots of my recommendations for different grades and subjects by using the Table of Contents in the menu at the top of my blog. ⬆️ I can’t imagine what will become available in the next few years. So don’t let your doubts about how you’re going to teach stop you from homeschooling because you’ll find lots of help.

There is room for mistakes. It’s the long view. Finally, I know you can homeschool because unless you’re starting in the 11th or 12th grade, you’ve got plenty of time to figure everything out. You will make mistakes, but that’s okay. Remember the resources I told you about? You can toss the ones you don’t like and find new ones. You can also go at your kids’ pace. You set the milestones — not a school. You can figure out when to challenge your kid and when to give them more time. Homeschooling is a lifestyle, and you can take the long view. What are your goals for your family? What are your kids’ goals? Start with helping your kids find what they’re good at and what motivates them to learn. If you can do that, you’ll figure the rest out.

This isn’t to say it’s easy, and it can help to have someone to chat with about homeschooling. I would love to help you, if I can. Contact me at any time.

Top 7 Things I Dislike About Homeschooling

~ shelli ~ 5 Comments

Today I’m reflecting on what I dislike about homeschooling after doing it for twelve years:

  1. People make a lot of assumptions about you that aren’t true. One small assumption is that people tend to think we have lots of free time. As for other assumptions, I won’t go into details, but this is always the case when anyone does anything “off the beaten path.” For the most part, I have thick skin, but it can be hurtful sometimes. 
  2. In that same vein, I have been told that the reason my kids do well on standardized tests is because we cheat. WTF?! Note: People who lie and cheat tend to think other people lie and cheat, but there ARE many honest people out there, including us. One of the reasons we homeschool is so that we can impart good morals on our kids.
  3. Three meals a day for four people = three sets of dishes to clean everyday. I mean, come on! If someone had told me before I got married and had kids how many meals I’d have to make or all the dishes I’d have to do, I may have decided to stay single. (Just kidding.) While I admire people who enjoy cooking, this isn’t for me. (Shout out to my husband who occasionally gives me a break by doing the dishes and getting take out!)
  4. On a similar note, I’m not sure I ever realized how little time I’d have for myself, and even though I can make time, it can come at a price because there’s always something that’s not getting done, or someone is trying to find me, I’m forgetting that I need to make dinner, and my house is never truly clean. But who cares about that, right? I take breaks when I need to.
  5. When we first started homeschooling, I found plenty of social activities for my boys, but it was hard to find friends who were kindred spirits. I didn’t find too many other kids who clicked with my kids, or the parent didn’t click with me, or our schedules didn’t match, or the interests of all the kids were different, etc…..I did find friends, but it wasn’t as easy as some homeschoolers have made it seem. Also, we live in a rural area, so that made it more challenging. 
  6. Overwhelm. Some days I drown in the overwhelm of taking full responsibility for two kids’ entire K-12 education. The curriculum choices are overwhelming…figuring out what works best is overwhelming…figuring out what I can let go and what I shouldn’t let go can be overwhelming.
  7. Lack of time and funds to do everything. Trying to give the boys some free time while also making sure they do all their work and get some exercise is hard; I’ve never found that perfect balance. And then when you end up fostering awesome kids who have interesting life goals, and you realize you don’t have the funds to support all of it, that’s soul crushing. But I still wouldn’t have it any other way because without walking this unconventional path, I might not have these awesome kids.

To see what I love about homeschooling, click here.

Project-based Homeschooling in the Later Years

~ shelli ~ 2 Comments

Recently I gave a Zoom presentation on project-based homeschooling (you can sign up here for the next one), and a question I received made me think about how I have never stopped using project-based homeschooling (PBH) techniques, but PBH looks very different in our home than it did ten years ago. I don’t think about the techniques anymore. My sons each have a project that has become more of a life goal, and my role is to support them on a higher level. In other words, our lives revolve around these activities. My own projects have evolved over the years, overlapping with the boys’ activities, so we learn and grow alongside each other.

Here are the current state of our projects:

My eldest son is a classical pianist, and at 16, it’s clear that he has his heart set on a career in music. I’m not sure what that will look like yet, but we’re sacrificing a lot to help him. As we do more research, we know what we can offer him may not be enough to catapult him to the place he dreams of, but he works hard, and I have no doubt he’ll carve out a life full of music making.

He got to hold his favorite bird!

My younger son has been interested in birds since he was four-years-old, and it’s interesting for me to look back at how this interest has always been there, though there have been long periods when he hasn’t done much with it. Now that he’s 13, this is changing, and that’s largely because he’s old enough to join certain classes related to birds on Outschool and get something out of them. He also has an active YouTube channel where he shares his videos of birds. Recently he also got to visit a bird banding station in a program run by Georgia Audubon for teens. Now that he’s getting a chance to meet people with similar interests, I hope it’ll introduce him to many possible paths that will most likely include birds.

As for me, I’m thinking about what I can do to support the boys in these later years, yet I also know they are going to go by fast. So I’m wondering what life has in store for me when they don’t need me as a teacher/facilitator/coordinator anymore.

If there is one thing about project-based homeschooling, it’s that the learning never stops, the creating never stops, and the striving never stops. It’s a life-long endeavor. You have to find joy in the journey. Ultimately, the big project is creating a life that is worth living that also puts some good into the world. With the proper support, you can’t go wrong with that.

Top 5 Reasons Why I Love Homeschooling

~ shelli ~ 5 Comments

a rare selfie 🙂

I’ve been homeschooling for over ten years, and now that I have some hindsight, it may be a good time to tell you what I love about homeschooling. Keep in mind that this is my experience; it may be different for other families. I may follow this up with a post about what I don’t love about homeschooling, but I’ll have to think about that.

So here are the top five reasons why I love homeschooling:

  1. Flexibility. Whether it’s curriculum, taking time off, or giving my kids the time they need to master a subject, I would say that flexibility has been the best part of homeschooling. We are not on anyone else’s calendar. We can sleep in, if we need it. When Life gets hectic, we can take some time off. If I end up disliking the curriculum I bought, I can toss it and try another one. My boys can take their music lessons with their teachers during the school day, so we can get a good time for that, and we can go to the park or zoo when it’s not crowded. Since my husband’s time off from his work does not correlate with the public school calendar, that is a big bonus too. This doesn’t mean we aren’t busy. It means my family gets to decide how we use our time.
  2. Out of the Box Learning. Although I try to match the traditional course of study as much as possible, I have a lot of flexibility in how I teach it, and if I can tell it’s not working for my kids, I can put it off or skip it. (If they hate it, they are not learning it.) We can learn so much in an informal way, such as through the documentaries we watch, visiting museums or conversations with knowledgeable people. My kids also like looking up the answers to their questions on the Internet, though they learn in many other ways too, such as through video games, T.V. shows, and, yes, books. Sometimes they surprise me with knowledge I didn’t even know they had. It’s amazing how good kids’ memories are when they are interested in something.
  3. Going at their pace. I have nudged, and I have challenged, but I don’t force learning, and that makes a big difference. Take, for example, how my boys learned how to read. I started them off around the age of four or five with 15~20 minute reading lessons, and depending on how well they did, I either kept going or I took long breaks from teaching it. I took a full year off from teaching reading to my eldest son when I could tell he wasn’t ready for it, and when we went back to it, I spent 20~30 minutes a day teaching him how to read. I remember getting a little anxious and stressed about it. Would they ever learn? But I knew going at their pace was better than pushing it. Around seven-years-old, they started to get it, and then at age eight, they began reading perfectly. At nine-years-old, they started reading books without being told to read. I never made them read anything outside our short lessons, and I also let them read whatever they wanted. They both started with comic books and graphic novels. Now they are avid readers, and they read long novels or non-fiction on their own time. In fact, we can’t keep enough library books on hand for my younger son! I love this, and I hate to think how different it may have turned out, if they were in public school and forced to meet certain milestones in reading before they were ready.
  4. Discovering interests unencumbered. If homeschooling parents give kids enough freedom, they have time and energy to discover what they’re interested in. Then they can begin to gain valuable skills. (If you’re lucky, this will prevent them from floundering for years as a young adult like I did.)  I don’t think you have to be an unschooler to do this. I don’t unschool, but I have used project-based homeschooling techniques (PBH), which helped me see how I could give my kids the time and tools to create and explore while also teaching them subjects I thought were important. Some kids don’t want to explore or create. They may prefer reading or gaming. Others will keep trying new things and not settle on any one thing. That’s okay! Let them do that. You never know where it might go. Other kids may find something and wham! You can see that they’ve found their vocation. That happened for my eldest son, the pianist. The flexibility of homeschooling gives my son time to practice the piano, do his lessons, and just be a kid too. If you’d like to learn more about PBH, I am offering a class on it.
  5. Close family ties. This is a byproduct I never thought about before I started homeschooling. I love how close we are as a family, and I love that my boys are best friends. They rarely squabble, and when they do, it’s amusing to watch. Since my boys are three years apart, I think things would have been very different, if they attended school. I’m grateful I have been there for every special moment and milestone, and I know my husband is too. (However, this doesn’t mean that we don’t need space from each other. When we need space, we have places to retreat to in the house.) This is an unexpected part of homeschooling that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

What do you love about homeschooling? If you are considering homeschooling, what is holding you back?

Slow and Steady

~ shelli ~ 4 Comments

Time plays tricks on us. There are days that I feel the swift passing of time. I turned fifty recently, yet I hardly feel fifty. Well, maybe my aches and pains tell me I’m fifty, but all the memories from my life are stacked up neatly in my brain as if they happened yesterday. Something might trigger a forgotten memory, and it will come alive as if I just lived it.

My boys grow taller. They both have deeper voices now. Weren’t they just chubby cheeked and needing more hugs? Weren’t they just knee-deep in projects that created chaos on our activity room floor?

I am being swept away in this river of time, and I can never get to the shore.

On the other hand, when I think about homeschooling, I notice how this is a slow life. We tend to want to speed it up. We want our children to learn how to read so that we can tick that off our list of anxieties:

“Can I teach my kid how to read? I think I can, but I won’t know until they start reading. Lesson time, kids!” But maybe our child isn’t ready to read, so we reign in our impatience and go at their pace. Slow and steady.

“When will I get around to teaching a foreign language? I have so many other subjects I need to teach.”

“Why are they having trouble with math? They weren’t having trouble last week. Is it the curriculum? Is it me?”

There is so much about this life that we won’t be sure about until it’s all over. Tests don’t tell us everything we’d like to know. This can be hard. For most of my homeschooling-parenting life, I have had a good dose of confidence with a heaping spoonful of insecurity — perhaps just enough to keep me on my toes.

For anyone venturing onto this path of home education, I would say that if you’re reading this, you’re probably reading other materials on homeschooling too. You’re probably doing a lot of research about your options and any particular issues that you are dealing with. If you’re doing that, then I have confidence that you’re a good parent, and you’ll be just fine. You may have bad days. You may have years that aren’t the greatest. But this a slow road.

You build an education for a child bit by bit, according to what he/she/they can handle. You won’t notice the progress until one day something jumps out at you. Your child might say something very kind, they may do something generous, and you’ll be awash with relief — you fostered a nice person! Another day, your child may be presented with a challenge that you have no control over, and — bam — they handle it beautifully. Or you may get those standardized test results and — whoa!– your child scored in the 95th percentile! You weren’t expecting that, but now you’re a happy homeschooling mom.

You’re never expecting it, but time will take care of all your worries. If you feel you need to try something else, trust me, you have time. Kids unfold like flowers, one or two petals at a time, and you’ll know what you need to do when you need to do it. Enjoy being home with your kids. Enjoy the slowness of this path. Enjoy the uncertainty too because tomorrow that one will be gone and there may be a bigger uncertainty looming.

Nothing stays the same, and while it doesn’t always feel like it, this river of time is swift. I’m going to drift along and see where it takes me.

Is time going too fast or too slow for you today? Please answer in the comments section. And if you need any help with homeschooling, I hope you’ll check out my store. Thanks!