Then There Were Two: Essays on Motherhood, Chapter 1

Please bear with me as I write about my e-book one last time. (Promise.)

First of all, I’d like to thank everyone who has bought my book and sent me kind messages about it. I’m so glad you liked it. Here are a few of the comments I’ve received:

“Shelli, I LOVED IT! You write so beautifully.”

“We so need more supportive, non-judgmental, type of reading out there and your book really helps fill that void for new(ish) moms.”

“Pabis doesn’t offer advice, instead she shares her experiences, her expectations, and her surprises along her motherhood journey, as though over coffee. But, she does more than this–she inspires us to truly savor the moments with our little ones.”

Remember that you can give Kindle books as gifts. There is a little box under the “Buy Now” box that says, “Give as a Gift.” All you need is the recipients e-mail address. You get to pick a delivery date too. They don’t need a Kindle to read the book either.

Below I’d like to offer you the Table of Contents and first chapter to give you a flavor of the book.  I hope you’ll buy it. But if not, that’s okay too. I deeply appreciate that you read my blog.

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Then There Were Two: Essays on Motherhood

Table of Contents

Introduction
Remembering Summers Past
Preparing for a Newborn
What I Least Expected
Watching Two Brothers Bond
Every Mother’s Experience Is Different
My Attempts to Juggle Two Children
Adventures in Potty Training
There Is No Consensus on How to Raise a Child
Autumn Brings Back Memories
The Bad Mommy Syndrome
Good Habits Are Hard to Keep When You Have Children
A Trip to the Mall
Winter Habits
Creating New Family Traditions
The Aquarium
Finding Meaning in the Daily Grind
Our Journey to the Zoo and Back
How Children Changed Me
Time Moves Too Fast with Children
The Joys of Parenthood
I’ve Reached Autumn

Remembering Summers Past

It doesn’t feel that long ago that I spent the summer evenings sitting on a porch swing at a little old mill house I rented in Athens, Georgia.  I lived a stone’s throw from the train tracks, and when a train would sit idle on the track, I could feel its ticks and hums as if it were alive and breathing on my neck. Back then, the sound of the train never bothered me.

Usually it was quiet on that street.  My neighbor’s old hound dog would limp into my yard and perk up when he saw my kitten swatting at bugs and chasing squirrels up the pecan tree. I was single, and I felt I was living as close as I could to the good things I read about in my favorite Southern literature, but most especially, to the stories I heard my grandmothers tell me when I was young.

I loved the slow pace, the humidity, the old houses, and the green veil of mature trees that shrouded the homes in that old neighborhood. Having grown up in Las Vegas where everything was new and glamorous, the South felt romantic to me. The history and my heritage made me feel like I’d come back to my roots.

Besides reminding me of the South’s unsavory history, my husband will tell me that I was lonely in that house and that I hated my job. There’s nothing like marriage to give you a new perspective.

I was lonely at times. I had finally reached an age when I felt ready to move into another era. I had gone to school, traveled, worked various jobs, but my biggest dream of becoming a writer never came true. I lacked the focus and discipline, and I didn’t know anybody in the writing business. I was a dreamer who had run out of options. Or so I thought.

But I was never lonely when I sat on that porch, notebook in hand. I have always been fond of alone time, something that is scarce for a mother, and I will always love a rainy summer afternoon in Georgia. When I’m at my most harried and stressed as a mother and wife, it’s the wide porch swing and shade of a pecan tree that I long for.

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In the heat of August, though three years apart, both my boys were born. Their birthdays are only one week apart. Luck of the draw.

Now summers are bittersweet occasions celebrating milestones and remembering the fleeting moments of holding a newborn in my arms. Summer licks its lips as I tell again and again the story of how daddy drove me to the hospital, and I was already ten centimeters dilated. I remember how the nurses poured into my room and swirled into action like waters over a broken dam. I tell my eldest son how I’ll never forget the look on the redheaded nurse’s face when I asked her for my epidural. She shook her head in slow motion. “It won’t help you now, honey.”

I tell my younger son how he kept me waiting until the eleventh hour.  On his due date, I took my husband, son, and mother-in-law on a long walk through the woods at the botanical garden. My husband kept saying it was unsafe for me to be so far from the car in my condition. If that’s what it takes, I thought, but I wasn’t worried. It felt great to be moving along a stream that had known me when I was new to this area. I showed my son my favorite place to sit down and watch the silky water reflect the green canopy and moving circles of light.

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Last night my eldest son and I were reading a children’s library book about summer, and it asked us what sounds we associated with it?  After we read the book, we got out of bed and went over to the window, opened it and looked out into the nearly black summer night.  It was unusually quiet, but as we strained our ears, we could hear the crickets in the woods.  A bird began to sing.  I told my son to breathe deeply, and I asked him if he could smell the musty air.  Then we peered into the trees and spied some lightning bugs.

Just maybe I’ll pass on some of my romantic ideals to my son.

Click here to find my book on Amazon.

In the E-book Business

Note: This column was published in the Barrow Journal on November 20, 2013.

After working several months on my first e-book, I’m proud to say I have finally published it. Then There Were Two: Essays on Motherhood is a book of essays adapted from my first columns with the Barrow Journal, written before and after my second son was born. So it’s about a mother adjusting to life with an infant and toddler as well as musings on nature and family issues. It also has some of my photography from that time.

I’ve published it in the Amazon Kindle Bookstore, though I hope to offer it through other venues in the future. One of the reasons I published it in the Kindle Bookstore first is because these books can be read on every device, including iPads, Androids, and a regular computer using the Kindle app. It can also be sent to anyone as a gift, and all you need is the name and e-mail address of the person you’re sending it to.

There was a time many years ago that I would not have considered self-publishing a book. I wanted to write fiction and get published with a respectable publisher, but after trying for a few years and attending several writing conferences, I learned that the publishing business has more to do with making money, which is understandable – otherwise the publishers couldn’t stay in business.  But I also learned that if I persevered and eventually got published, that did not guarantee I could afford to live on writing alone.

It’s sad to know that there are a lot of good writers out there who will never be published because their work isn’t “marketable.” Maybe a writer doesn’t have thousands of readers, but if they are competent and appeal to hundreds, why shouldn’t they self-publish?

As a blogger, I see many writers like me trying their hand at e-books, so at the urging of my husband, I thought, “Why not?” I have nothing to lose.

The process has been a lot of fun too. I went through my early columns and decided I had enough to make a book that would appeal to mothers. Like any writer, I’m my own worst critic, so I edited, polished and rewrote some of it. Then I picked some photographs that I thought went with the essays.

It amazes me that anybody can sign up for an account on Amazon and publish a book in minutes (though it goes through a preview process that takes up to 24 hours before it goes live). Many writers have been given a chance to publish their books this way, and many of them have been a success at it.

Those who think they can write but cannot may be weeded out by poor sales and rankings. Poorly edited, formatted or otherwise sloppy work won’t get very far either. Of course, I’ve learned it takes a lot more than a well-written book to catch the attention of buyers.

I needed the perfect cover, perfect blurb, and then I have to market my book so that people will learn about it and buy it. None of that is easy, but I’m writing only partly because I want to make money.  I’m also writing because I love to write and share experiences with others. So I’m putting it out there, and I’ll see what happens.

I have plans for more e-books. I want to write a handbook for busy parents on how to tell stories to their children for teaching, entertaining and imparting wisdom. After all, children respond better to stories than to lectures!

Also on my ideas list are some e-books on our homeschooling journey by grade, particularly focusing on our blend of using some curriculum along with child-led, project-based learning.

I have other ideas too, but before I commit to them, I better get these written!

If you know a mother who might like a book about the joys and misadventures of handling young children, please take a look at my promo page. You can also search my name on Amazon.com. It makes a perfect Christmas gift for busy mothers because the essays are short and can be read during baby’s nap or feeding session!

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One more note: If you do buy my book, THANK YOU. I hope you like it. 

E-book: Then There Were Two

I’m extremely excited to announce that I have published my very first e-book, Then There Were Two: Essays on Motherhood. 

The essays in Then There Were Two embrace the joys, worries and misadventures a mother can have after welcoming her second baby into the world.  From missing the simple routine of caring for just one child to navigating a day at the mall, Shelli Bond Pabis writes in an easy-going manner of one mother speaking to another. Sometimes lyrical and sometimes matter-of-fact, she assures her readers that there’s no consensus on how to raise a child. Her photography adds a beautiful dimension to the book with quiet moments, details of nature and the action of life with children. Mothers will identify with these essays, laugh, cry, and feel satisfied as Pabis surprises herself by finding contentment in the creative job of being a mother. They’ll find themselves wanting to ramble around in their own yards with their children, picking up acorns and listening to the sounds of crickets.

This little book of essays and photography is very special to me not only because it’s my first book but because it contains special memories from a time when I had one small boy and a brand new infant. I began writing my newspaper column for the Barrow Journal two months before my second son was born, and many of these essays are adaptions of those early columns. Most of them have not appeared on this blog, though a few of them have.

The book is about a mother learning how to adapt to life with two children, but you’ll also find musings on nature, family issues, daily life and more.

From the introduction:

I don’t offer much advice; I only hope any new mother who reads it will know she’s not alone. After all, no matter what your experience, you are doing the most important job in the world ~ carrying on this gift of life.

I hope you’ll buy the book, and I really hope that you will like the book. If you do, I would greatly appreciate your help by offering your good reviews and spreading the word about my book on your social media outlets.  Thank you so, so much.

View it on Amazon U.S.

Also on Amazon U.K. , Amazon Canada and Amazon Australia

Currently it is available only in digital format through Amazon.com. See this page for free Kindle apps available for every device and computer out there: Free Kindle Reading Apps

Stay tuned to receive news about my future e-books on how to start a storytelling ritual in your family, homeschooling preschool thru kindergarten and more!