Archive for ‘Life Stories’

February 26, 2012

Less Than Ideal Memories of My Early Education

Me and my kitty a very long time ago.

Note: This column was printed in the Barrow Journal on February 15, 2012.

When I was in the first grade, I sat next to a boy named Leo.  Every Monday the teacher would put a list of spelling words on the blackboard, and we were supposed to write them down.  I did it without a problem, but for some reason, Leo never completed this simple task.  He would hand in an unfinished list of words.

Since this was an ongoing problem, the teacher decided to punish him for not completing the list of words.  Every week after he handed in his almost blank sheet of paper, she’d take him out into the hallway and paddle his behind with one of those big, wooden paddles. This is when I began to notice him.

It happened every week, and every week, she’d take him into the hallway, and he’d return to his desk with tears in his eyes.

I don’t know when I started to do this, but each Monday as I was copying my words down, I’d glance over at Leo.  I noticed that he was staring off into space.  I waved my hand at him, and he looked at me.  I pointed to his paper.  He started writing again.

I don’t remember how many times I had to wave at him to get him to turn his attention back onto this spelling words, but I’ll never forget the look on his face when the teacher saw that he handed in a complete set of words.  She praised him and patted him on the back.  As he walked back to his seat, he smiled and looked at me.

I did it every single week after that, and that stupid teacher never knew it was me or that all he needed was a little help to refocus.  Forgive me for calling a teacher “stupid,” but as I remember that, it makes me angry.

That’s the only memory I have of first grade.  In second grade I remember being dismayed when on the first day of class, Leo walked into the room and immediately came to sit behind me.  Since at that time I thought he was kind of dopey, I was embarrassed by his endearment for me.

I wish I could say that spanking has been eradicated completely in America’s schools, but it hasn’t.  Though it’s banned in 31 states and D.C., it’s still legal in several other states.  Did you know it’s legal in Georgia?  Each district’s school board has a right to decide if it will be allowed.

If you’re surprised, you may find this recent article interesting: click here.

There has been legislation introduced to end corporal punishment in schools.  H.R. 3027 is a bill in the first step of the legislative process.  I hope it makes it further.

At least spanking is much less common now, and I’m sure it would never be used in such a manner as it was for Leo – a situation that did not require punishment.  One of Georgia’s guidelines is that it “should never be used as a first line of punishment.”

Thank goodness we know more about children and their needs now.  We know that children have different learning styles, that different kids learn at different paces, and they even have different needs when it comes to the environment they learn best in.  Proactive parents can make a huge difference in a child’s education.  (And, no, I’m not advocating homeschooling for everyone.)

The memory of Leo has been coming to my mind lately as I teach my son how to read.  I’m experimenting with different methods to see what works best, and I’m trying to gauge if he’s even ready for it.  Considering that I would put him into Kindergarten this coming fall, if I weren’t homeschooling, I would say he’s advanced for his level, so I’m not pushing it.

But last week I sat down with him and tried doing a word search with sight words.  I don’t do many worksheets with him, but he liked it when he first saw it.  However, after he found the first word, I saw Leo all over again.  My son sat back and looked at the ceiling.  “Look at the word,” I’d say.  He’d glance at it.  “You won’t be able to find it if you don’t even look.”

It makes me wonder if perhaps Leo was just too young to be in first grade at that time.  It also makes me wonder if more students need a one-on-one tutor to remind them to look at the words or even tell them that it’s okay not to do that right now.

What memories – good or bad – do you have of your early education?

February 18, 2012

Why I Love LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE

This lovely photo was captured by Tambako the Jaquar. Click image to go to original source.

Note: This column appeared in the Barrow Journal on February 1, 2012.

Last year when my husband brought home the DVD box sets of Little House on the Prairie, I laughed.  Little House on the Prairie? I said.  It’s for the kids, he said.

I was surprised he would be willing to watch Little House even if he did love it as a child.  I did too.  I remember wishing Michael Landon was my father and that I could run around on a farm like Melissa Gilbert’s character, Laura Ingalls.

But as an adult, memories of Little House conjure up words like “sentimental” and “idealistic.”  Not to mention Michael Landon’s perfect hair.

But when we started watching it, I once again started wishing Michael Landon was my father (the one he played in TV – not the one in real life), and I wish I could be the spunky Laura, sticking up for what’s right in the world.

As a child, the television show was good entertainment, but as an adult, I realize that it was a show that attempted to deal with serious issues, and because of this, I have a newfound respect for it.  Watching it now, I realize that I probably acquired many of my values from that show.

Yes, the Ingalls portrayed the ideal family.  The mom and dad, Caroline and Charles, are wonderful people.  Their children are wholesome and good.  They love their parents and want to please them and even contribute to their family’s welfare when things get tough.

I don’t see many flaws in their characters except perhaps for Charles’ temper, which only seems to flare up when I – as a viewer – want it to.  And you can hardly call Laura’s spirited character flawed. When she gets in trouble, the viewer is usually cheering her on.

The show supplies the quintessential antagonists – the haughty storeowner Mrs. Oleson and her daughter, Nellie.  They look down on the Ingalls and do everything they can to let everyone in town know that they are more sophisticated and have more money.

Are these well-worn stereotypes and clichés?  They certainly are, but I’m not sure they would have been back when the show aired from 1974 -1983.  Watching it again, I find it fun and refreshing to watch something that clearly marks the line between good and not so good.

Despite Michael Landon’s perfect hair, the show still offers a view of life in the 19th century.  My five-year-old started asking questions like “Didn’t they drive cars?” and “Don’t they have a television?”

The show did a good job at depicting some of the harsh living conditions for early white settlers in America, including a snowstorm that almost killed the character of Charles, the death of Charles’ and Caroline’s baby, and what happened when crops were ruined and the family couldn’t pay their bills.

It’s been a good opportunity to introduce my son to that life in the “olden days.”  He has even gotten the connection between life depicted on that show and the real-life and well-preserved William Harris Homestead, which we visit often. (www.harrishomestead.com)

As was typical of a family like the Ingalls, they were churchgoers and had a deep faith in God.  Whether you’re religious or not, I don’t think anyone could argue with the lessons that Little House on the Prairie was trying to teach, which is why I think it’s a great show for young viewers.  I like that Charles always had a different perspective than his sweet, devout wife, and I like that Laura is a girl with a strong and defiant spirit. She tries to do what is right even if it means getting in a little trouble.

In one episode, the residents of Walnut Grove have to deal with some “bullies” that try to settle there, though bully is too kind of a word for them.  In anger Charles says to the preacher, “Don’t go telling me there’s good in all people.”  The final lesson was that while we should give everyone a fair chance, there’s a time when you have to stand up for what’s right.

The show alternates between these serious topics and more light-hearted stories and watching them affirms for me the idea that what makes any story – or television series – stand the test of time is when it deals with universal topics.  The scenarios on Little House are still applicable today, and I’ve sure met my share of Mrs. Olesons. 

Today television scriptwriters may do a better job of painting more shades of gray, but in the end, we always like it better when the good guy wins.  In a world with many bad endings, I’m glad we still have shows like Little House on the Prairie to watch and remember.

What shows did you love to watch when you were a child?

February 11, 2012

My Childhood Memories in Nature

my eldest boy as a tot - tree hugger in training

Note: This column was printed in the Barrow Journal on January 25, 2012.

Lately I’ve been reading a lot about the importance for children and adults to get out into nature.  If there’s one thing I appreciate about my own childhood, it’s that my parents both enjoyed the outdoors and most of our family vacations were spent on the scenic highways of this country.

Though we only lived there four years, I also fondly remember the two-story house we owned in Littleton, Colorado.  It had a large yard with several small fruit trees and a garden that lined the back fence. The cherry and apple trees bloomed beautifully in the spring.

In the winter, my mom would warm up my coat and snow pants by an electric heater, and then she’d bundle me up and send me outside to play in the snow.  I kept myself occupied making snow angels and boot prints, and I lived in an active make-believe world, though sadly I don’t remember much about it now.

I do remember one time playing in the snow and sensing that something just flew past my head.  I turned to look behind me, but I saw nothing. Back to playing, it happened again. Finally, a snowball hit me on my back. I turned to find my big brother laughing and darting behind the side of the house.

When I was in the eighth grade, my best friend’s godmother took my friend and me snow skiing.  It was during the week, and we were the only two skiers on the bunny slope.  In my attempt to ski straight to the beginning of the line at the chair lift, I slid by the ropes and straight into a pole.  Perhaps that’s when I became less enamored with snow.

My dad loved boating, so when we lived in Las Vegas, Nevada, he took me to Lake Mead.  We would park the boat in one of the many sandy coves, and I’d go exploring. Once while I was exploring, my quiet reverie was interrupted by the loudest, blood-curdling sound I had ever heard.  It sounded like a ship’s horn.  I stood up and there across the cove on the opposite beach was a wild donkey staring me down.  Obviously I was too close to his territory, and he let me know about it.

I remember another time boating on Lake Mohave, which is on the opposite side of the Hoover Dam.  We found a lone big horn sheep on the bank near the water, and he stared at us in the boat, and we took several photos of him.

I also remember the nights we slept on the lake and the view I had of the Milky Way.  The universe was an arm’s length away.  I remember campfires, hot springs, and high cliffs streaked with nature’s palette of reds, browns and golds.

While having these adventures, I’m sure I didn’t appreciate them enough or realize how rare they were for most kids my age.  Now I know they made an indelible impression on me, and I’m an outdoorswoman at heart.

Most of our ventures outside were uneventful unless you consider the countless times my dad’s vehicles stalled and needed repair.  We were stranded many times, but to a young child, this isn’t so bad.  It just meant more time in nature, and more time to count the stars.

I hope my boys will remember playtime in their wooded yard, hunting for snakes and jumping in piles of leaves.  I hope they will fondly look back on the hiking trails, picnics and parks we visited.  I hope it will teach them to always seek out nature because we all need it to rejuvenate our bodies and minds.

What childhood memories of nature do you have?

December 31, 2011

We All Matter

Note: This column first appeared in the December 28, 2011 edition of the Barrow Journal.

Last week I received a touching e-mail from a man in Australia who had found a column I wrote last year about my friend, J.J. Reneaux.  She was a famous storyteller, musician and award-winning writer, and she died of cancer over ten years ago.

He wrote, “I have no great reason to write to you except that I thought it wouldn’t hurt to lend some affirmation to your feeling that she had a good and positive influence on peoples’ lives.”

He went on to tell me how he had bought her book, Cajun Folktales, while on a trip to New Orleans in the 1990s.  His eldest daughter, who is now 23, fondly remembers the tales, and his younger children enjoy them now.

He wrote of his son: “It’s certainly his favourite book and I think will be something, a shared experience, he may remember forever.”  This is important to him because he, too, is dying of cancer.

I was deeply saddened to learn about his fate, yet I was awed how J.J. is still affecting people’s lives…and even their afterlives.  And it affirmed for me a deep belief: that we all have meaning.  The stories we create in this life will keep affecting people well after we are gone.

But I’m not talking about stories we make up and write down in a book.  J.J. taught me that my personal story matters.  How do I choose to live this life?

Last year I also wrote about the kindness shown to me by an employee at the Winder Publix on Highway 11.  There was a terrible storm outside, and I needed help to my car even though I would never ask for it.  Though it was part of his job, this gentleman went the extra mile to help me, and the good cheer he showed me that morning stayed with me all day.

I’m sure we all have stories of meeting people whose enthusiasm for life is contagious.  Sure, there are those who feign happiness for the sake of appearances, but the sincere ones have an easy way about them.  We know it’s real, and it makes us feel good.

I’m not an award-winning writer whose stories will be read for many generations like J.J.’s, and I may not be remembered for bending over backwards for a stranger, but I realize that the thoughts I hold and the attitude I wear can make a difference.  Opening a door, picking up a pen that someone dropped, or even a smile can help a little. Moreso, scowling at the world, cutting someone off in traffic, or yelling at people for no good reason can have crippling affects that spread out.

That pebble thrown into water metaphor comes to my mind:  “Every act of kindness is like a pebble thrown in a pond sending out ripples far beyond where the pebble entered the water. When we’re caring and kind to our neighbors, our actions send rings of kindness that spread from neighbor to neighbor to neighbor.” That’s attributed to Angela Artemis.

If there’s one New Year’s resolution I make this year, it will be to remember that my actions have a larger meaning than I usually give them credit for.  Without my knowing it, something I said, did or wrote could affect someone miles away, long after I’m gone.  I hope you’ll remember that too.  You matter.  We all matter.

December 12, 2011

Kids Say The Darndest Things

When I was a child, my parents had a copy of Art Linkletter’s book Kids Say the Darndest Things, and I loved reading it.  Now that I have my own children, I’m enjoying listening to all their jibber-jabber, “information” they impart to me, and my five-year-old’s endless questions, which I actually love.  I thought I would share something funny that happened in the car today while I was driving.

the five-year-old:  ”Mommy, how do more people get on the earth?”

me: “They keep having babies.”

the five-year-old:  ”Well, how does a baby get into your stomach?”

me: (Thinking, oh man,  here’s that question. Definitely don’t want to try to answer it in the car while I’m driving….) “You know, that’s a really good question, but it’s kind of complicated, so I’ll explain it another time, okay?”  (Whew. That should get me off the hook.)

the five-year-old:  ”Okay.” Pause. “You know, we should have Question Day!

me: “Question Day?”  (We have cleaning days on Monday, so it’s logical.)

the five-year-old: “Yeah.  We could have Question Day on Tuesdays.  You could tell me how trees grow, and….” (he’s thinking)

me:  ”Wow.  That’s a good idea.  We could do that.”

I wanted to say, “But I’ll answer your questions anytime,” but then I realized that I had just postponed answering a question, so that wouldn’t work.  And I was impressed with his idea for a Question Day, so I didn’t want to put it down.  The real question is whether or not he’s going to ask me how babies get into my stomach on Tuesday!  Wish me luck!

 

December 1, 2011

The Best-laid Plans of Parents with Small Children

Note: This column first appeared in the Barrow Journal on November 30, 2011.

As you know from my previous column, we were looking forward to our first Thanksgiving at home with just the four of us.  No traveling.  No need to power clean the house.  Just a quiet, relaxing day with a turkey dinner.  Unfortunately, my two-year-old woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning. It’s typical at his age to have tantrums.  He wants to be more independent, and he can’t always communicate his needs, which leads to a lot of frustration.  It’s stressful being two.

However, there are some days when he’ll go from calm to tempest quicker and more frequently throughout the day.  Is it the terrible twos?  Teething? “Unmet needs” as the family therapist says in the parenting book that is sitting on my bedside table? If I knew what his unmet needs were, I would gladly take care of them!

I have no idea why he is like this sometimes. Unfortunately, he picked Thanksgiving to have an off day.  We all have off days, don’t we? Two-year-olds are not excluded from that.

He cried and pointed to objects that he wanted and then didn’t want after I handed them to him.  He slept well, I held him and played with him, yet he was unsettled all day.

Mid-morning I changed his diaper and he decided he didn’t want to wear another one.  Okay, I thought, we don’t have to go anywhere; we’ll start potty training on Thanksgiving.  Not what I had planned, but I’m game.  Fortunately, it didn’t take long for him to find out why diapers are helpful.  To clean him up, I put him in the bathtub, and his older brother stayed in the bathroom, and they played together with the water and toys for a long time.  That wasn’t so bad.

After the bath, he screamed about the clothes he had to wear.  Did I mention he’s refusing to wear a coat outside and has to pull his long sleeves up on his arms?  Oh yes, he’s spirited.  Someday that spirit will serve him well.  For now, it will cause more gray hairs on his mama’s head.

Right before dinner he was upset too, crying as I helped my husband put the finishing touches on our dinner table.  (A big thanks to my husband for cooking the Thanksgiving turkey.)  With a child clinging to my leg, I finished the mashed potatoes.

By the time I sat down at the dinner table I was sweating, my husband was irritable, but the two-year-old was finally happy eating his meal.  That’s all we were thankful for at that moment.

The day wasn’t all bad, though.  In the morning my boys and I put on some finger puppet shows, and during the two-year-old’s nap, my five-year-old and I played outside in the beautiful weather, and in the evening, we watched a movie.

Later that night I was reading Falling Through Space: The Journals of Ellen Gilchrist.  In one essay she wrote about spending 38 hours alone with her two grandchildren, ages 4 and 1.

She states, “I am here to report that taking care of small children is the single most exciting, complicated, difficult, creative and maddening job on all the green earth.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself, but I’m still grateful for my boys, bad days and all.

How do you deal with the unpredictability of children?

November 23, 2011

Creating New Family Traditions

 

There’s a time when old traditions need to die, a time for new traditions, and a time when old traditions can be reborn with new meaning.

In years past, I have always felt a little lonely during the holidays.  I wished I had a big, happy family that didn’t live so far apart, so we could all come together and eat a lot of food, play games, and exchange stories.

My husband and I are usually invited to a relative’s home each Thanksgiving, and we’ve always gone, but this year I did an uncomfortable thing and turned down the invitation.  It’s because I began to think about what kind of memories I want to create for my two boys.

Except for my dad and step-mom, we rarely see our Georgia relatives during the year, so for my boys, it would almost be like visiting a stranger’s house on the holiday.  What do I really want for them?  I want them to remember the holidays in their childhood home with their loved ones.

So this year we’re going to have a cozy Thanksgiving at home, and we’ll make a big meal (big to us, that is), and we’ll start the tradition of stating what we’re thankful for at the dinner table.

This time of year has got me thinking about family traditions in general too.  A few years ago, I had a conversation with my brother (who is also starting his family) about how we need to create our own family traditions, especially since so many of our traditions were blurred by divorce and moving from state to state.

Shortly after having that conversation, my brother and sister-in-law sent me some books about creating family traditions as a Christmas gift.  The Book of New Family Traditions by Meg Cox and Together Creating Family Traditions by Rondi Hillstrom Davis and Janell Sewall Oakes are beautiful books that have given me many good ideas.

Yet I’m aware that the best traditions spring forth spontaneously.  I have to be careful about stating, “Here is a new tradition we are going to start…” What if I’m the only one on board that boat?  Traditions need to be something the whole family enjoys.

We all have traditions whether we realize it or not.  Religions give us many of our traditions.  My family follows the Christian traditions of observing Christmas and Easter, and we’ll continue to do so.  Traditions can also be unique to each family.

In The New Book of Family Traditions, I read about a family that every month during the full moon, they go outside and roast marshmallows in the moonlight.  By coincidence, my family took a moonlit walk the other night.  We showed our son where Jupiter was and looked for constellations.  It was so much fun, I’m wondering if I could make that happen every month.  (Or almost every month?)

Traditions can be simple daily exercises.  Some people say grace before mealtimes; others enjoy a slow cup of coffee in the mornings (that’s me).  Come to think of it, I have already started the ritual of telling my five-year-old a story every night. Even if I feel uninspired and tell him a boring tale, he seems to love it, and I know that somehow this is imparting my love and beliefs to him.

And this is what traditions do at their best: They give a family or community a reason to come together and share their love and commonality with each other. This in turn gives an individual a sense of belonging.  I want my boys to feel that being part of this family is important. When life gets tough I want them to have a place to come to and feel loved.

This is why we’ll have Thanksgiving and Christmas at home from now on, and I’ll be looking for ways to expand our old traditions, making them more meaningful to us.  I’ll also be thinking about new traditions I can add throughout the year.

What are your traditions?  Old or new?  I would love to hear what your family does because it may give me ideas for my own.  Please leave me a comment.  And in the future, I’ll write about what kinds of traditions we have started or renewed.

Note: This column was first printed in the Barrow Journal on Wednesday, November 23, 2011.  You can also view it online here.

And I hope all my American friends have a happy, warm, loving Thanksgiving!

October 31, 2011

Happy Boo Day

 

This column was originally printed in the October 26, 2011 edition of the Barrow Journal.

Happy Halloween and Turning Forty

When you’re a child, having a birthday on Halloween is a pretty cool thing.  Besides cake and presents, you also get to dress up in a funny costume and go trick or treating.  You get invited to parties, and though they aren’t for you, everyone pays you special attention.

When you’re an adult with children, having a birthday on Halloween is a pretty cool thing, but only because it’s easily forgotten.

My five-year-old is so excited that Halloween is coming.  He decided several weeks ago that he wanted to be a ghost.  Since I’m not a crafty person, we went to several stores the other day looking for a costume.  Why are ghost costumes so hard to come by?  Sure, we could just throw a sheet over his head, but I wanted something more creative.

We finally found a ghost costume his size, but it has a scary mask with it.  He doesn’t want to wear the mask, but he’s happy with the rest of the costume.  I tried talking him into wearing make-up or at least a white hat, but he doesn’t want that either.  So, his costume may look a little incomplete, but he likes it, and that’s all that matters.

As for my two-year-old, I’m hoping he’ll be happy with the Peter Pan hand-me-down.  Since it’s a non-frills costume (which we needed when the eldest was this age), I’m hoping it’ll work well for him too.

We’ve done a little decorating.  “Little” is the key word.  As I said, I’m not a crafty person, and decorations tend to stay subdued at my house.  But we’re slowly adding on to them each year, and my son and I have made a bat and pumpkin out of construction paper.  We strung some pumpkin lights in our activity room and a few paper ghosts on the front porch.

I’m happy to report that the small pumpkins my son grew this summer and harvested in August are still firm enough to sit on the porch without attracting flies.  Unfortunately, his second crop of pumpkins is not going to be ready for the holiday.  The plants are flowering right now, and I doubt they’ll survive the winter, but you never know in this unpredictable Georgia weather.

We still have to visit a pumpkin patch, attend a Halloween carnival, and read more Halloween books.  But behind all this ghostly activity, I am aware that I will be reaching the summit and climbing “over the hill” on Halloween.

Once she reached the age of forty, my grandmother told everyone she was 39 for about 42 years…until the day she died.  My mother takes a different approach. Sometimes she’ll tell people she’s older than she really is because she wants them to think she looks great for her age.

At least for now, I don’t mind telling people I’m forty.  I think I’ve earned my age, and I’m looking forward to this next decade.

Perhaps some will argue with me (and I welcome that because I’m still learning on this journey), but I think by the time you are forty, finally you have a grasp of the myriad of emotions, possibilities and disappointments that life offers.  You have probably lived enough to see or be touched by most of them.

At forty I know I’m extremely lucky.  Though I have lived through heartache, disappointment, lonely times and humbling times, I have kept healthy, and I have not suffered severe tragedy.  But I’ve watched disease and tragedy touch the lives of loved ones, so I know how easily it could happen to me.  I try not to take my life for granted.

Not all my dreams have come true, and this still stings.  But I hold onto this tiny card I found in the packaging of my one of my son’s toys: “You know what? Not all dreams come true. But that’s okay because you can always make new dreams.” It’s attributed to “Katie, age 4.”

It doesn’t surprise me that such wisdom comes from a four-year-old.  I have gained more wisdom from rearing young children than I ever had in my previous, childless life.  And the best perk of homeschooling is that I get to explore the world and learn along with them.

They have taught me that happiness is truly in the small details.  It’s in the everyday routine and the little discoveries we make along the way.  I think this is why I love photography too.  It has given me a keen eye for small details, light and shadows.  Everyday objects come alive in the right light.

If there’s anything I hope to instill in my boys as they grow older it is not to forget those feelings of wonder.  I want them to hold onto their curiosity.  The world begins to get darker as we grow older, but that doesn’t mean those small joys are gone.

So I’ll be sneaking candy, lighting jack-o-lanterns, and following my boys’ lead on my birthday.  Hopefully there won’t be any trickery.  Just smiles, giggles and treats.

Happy Halloween to all of you!  May you receive lots of treats and no tricks this holiday.

October 1, 2011

Pets Are Good for Children

{pictured above left to right: Sophie, Banjo, & Millie}

I found a great article in the Fall 2011 issue of “Healthy Pet,” which we receive through our vet’s office.  The name of the article is “Kids and Pets: Growing Together” by Lynette A. Hart, Ph.D.

Many times as I watch my boys interact with our pets, I’ve been thankful that we are in a position to own pets.  That is, nobody is allergic to the animals, and we have time to care for them properly.  We have two dogs, one cat, and six little fish.

The article begins by stating that many parents think giving a child a pet is a great way to teach them responsibility, but unfortunately, most children are not mature enough to care for a pet’s daily needs.  My husband learned this lesson when he bought that fish aquarium for our then three-year-old.  Although he didn’t expect our son to take care of the aquarium, he thought he would be more interested in watching the process.

Interestingly, I have observed how our son started out by being fascinating with the aquarium, later losing interest, and yet later finding a renewed interest.  Sometimes he does “help” his daddy clean the aquarium, and ever since we added an algae eater to the mix, he and his little brother like to sit and watch the aquarium for a few minutes in the mornings.

I never expected my son to be responsible for the aquarium or sustain an interest, but over time the aquarium has given him much more knowledge about fish and the work that goes into keeping a tank.  There are probably other lessons in there that I’m not aware of either.

The article also says that pets can give a child a sense of self.  Since most dogs and cats love their owners unconditionally and offer constant companionship, this “can be restorative” and helps kids “build self-esteem.”

I don’t know about my kids, but I know that the companionship of my little Siamese cat, Sophie, is very restorative.  It’s relaxing at night when she curls up next to me, purring like a little motor is inside of her.

It’s probably also relaxing for her to be with me after a day of being pounced on and chased by two little boys.  God bless her for being so patient.  I admit there have been times when I was in a pickle, needing a moment for myself, and I would say, “Look, boys! There’s Sophie!”  She is great at distracting them for me.

Another benefit of having pets, according to the article, is that kids learn how their behavior affects others.  This is true.  As I mentioned, Sophie is very patient, but she will not tolerate actions that could possibly hurt her, and I don’t blame her for that.  When she hisses at the boys, I tell them they need to be more mindful and gentle.

“Gentle” is one of the first words my children learned, thanks to Sophie.  This has come in handy many times outside the home too: at petting zoos, with friend’s pets, or other people’s toys.  (I wonder why it doesn’t work when I tell my eldest to be “gentle” with his younger brother?)

When my boys begin to chase and torture the dogs, they see firsthand how the dogs run and hide.  I’m not sure that has taught them anything, though.  They still like to chase and torture the dogs.

But I’m glad we have the dogs because my boys are not afraid of other people’s dogs.  We have had two sets of friends whose children quake with fear at our neighbor’s sweet, lumbering lab that wanders into our yard from time to time.  I’ve also noticed that my boys don’t fear animals in petting zoos either.  Though I teach them to be cautious, of course, I’m glad they feel comfortable with animals.

The article also says that losing a pet is often a child’s first experience with death, and dealing with it in a respectful way can be a valuable lesson for a child.  Also, showing a child how a pet needs healthy food, grooming and exercise can teach them about healthy habits for themselves as well.

Finally, helping to train a dog can give a child leadership skills.  This is a great idea. I have always wanted to get a German Shepherd, but I want to wait until my boys are old enough to participate in the obedience classes.  It would be a great experience for a child to help care, train and love a dog from a puppy into adulthood.  But all in due time…

If only there were obedience classes for young children.

This column was originally printed in the September 21, 2001 edition of the Barrow Journal.  You can view on the online version by clicking here.
September 27, 2011

The Benefits of Storytelling

The National Storytelling Network says that “storytelling is essential to education: neuroscience is demonstrating that the human brain organizes, retains, and accesses information most effectively in narrative form.”  Click here to read what else they say.

I’ve been spending the last few weeks thinking and writing about storytelling because I value the importance of storytelling for my children and community.  I’m wrapping up my series on storytelling by brainstorming several reasons why storytelling is so valuable for children and adults.  Below is my list in no particular order.  I hope you might contribute to my list by adding your thoughts in the comments section.

Storytelling is beneficial because:

  • Stories both entertain and impart wisdom.
  • I can teach my children in an unique way that they will want to listen and remember.
  • Storytelling ignites the imagination.
  • It fosters listening and comprehension skills.
  • It teaches speaking skills.  Shortly after beginning to make up stories for my five-year-old, he wanted to make up stories to tell me!
  • Storytelling is part of our language arts, which is a vital part of any person’s education!
  • Stories help people understand their place in the world.  For children, stories can help them understand who they are and the world they live in.
  • It’s relaxing.  A stress-reducer!
  • Storytelling provides valuable one-on-one time with the teller and listener(s).  Telling stories to children is an expression of love.
  • Similarly, storytelling connects people and communities.  It’s a positive form of communication that fosters compassion and understanding.
  • Stories preserve cultures, beliefs and values and shares those cultures, beliefs and values with the rest of the world.

To read my previous posts on storytelling, click on the following:

Book Review: Tell Me A Story by Chase Collins (This was also a newspaper column for the Barrow Journal.)

I’d like to dedicate my column and these blog posts on storytelling to the friend who inspired me to tell stories: J.J. Reneaux.  I think of her so often.

What do you think?  Please add your thoughts about storytelling in the comments section.

September 26, 2011

Two Stories I Made Up For My Five-Year-Old — to Show That YOU Can Do It Too!

This is the third in my series of posts about storytelling for children by their parents.  The first post was a review of the book Tell Me A Story by Chase Collins.  The second post was “How I Use Storytelling to Enrich the Lives of My Children.”  In that post, I warned you that I might get brave enough to share one of my stories with you! Well, guess what?  I’m giving you two!

With these stories I would like to illustrate something that Chase Collins taught me in her book.  When you are thinking “what the heck am I going to tell a story about?” she suggests that you look at what is going on with your child at that moment.  Did they do something special that day?  Is there something that they are into?  When we were on vacation in Chicago this summer, my son took his first subway ride, so I told him a story about some children riding on a subway and meeting a subway monster (not a scary monster)!  Right now my son is into snakes, so you can guess that many of my recent stories have snakes in them.

She also said that if you can get your child to give you an idea, then go with that!  Sometimes my son says, “Just tell me a story,” and I know he doesn’t want to contribute an idea.  But lately he has been saying, “Can you tell me a story about Jack and Piper?  And it could be about how Jack goes walking to the river and finds a rainbow snake who is lost?”  (That was my son’s prompt tonight!)

The following story is one I told last month before my boy’s birthdays, and while I usually forget my stories by the next day, this one stuck with me because I was kind of proud of it.  But I don’t always tell good stories!  Usually I start one and then struggle to come to a conclusion.  After telling this tale, I later I realized it has a similar theme to a book that I’ve read to my son….but I promise I am not plagiarizing!  My story is very different, yet perhaps I subconsciously got something out of that storybook.  I think this is okay when making up stories for kids.  We are not telling these stories to sell them.  It’s a one-time love offering to our children.  Get your ideas anywhere!  It doesn’t have to be original or told with perfect diction.  If it’s a bad story, don’t worry.  You’ll forget it and tell another one the next day.

The beginning paragraph is how I usually start out my “Jack and Piper” stories.  My main character is Jack, but since I told this story right before my son’s birthday, it seemed better to make Piper the main character in this one.

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Jack who lived in a forest in a log house, and he had a big garden full of vegetables and flowers.  And he also had a friend named Piper who was a troll with big feet and shaggy hair, and he lived down the path in a tree.  Piper couldn’t talk, but he had no problem communicating with his friend Jack.  

Well, tomorrow was going to be Jack’s birthday, and Piper was at home thinking about what to get for his friend.  That morning he walked outside his treehouse and noticed how beautiful the first morning light was glowing through the trees.  Oh, it would be wonderful to get Jack something as beautiful as that morning light, he thought.  Later, he was walking along the river, and he noticed how good the morning air smelled.  He breathed deep and sighed.  It would be wonderful to get Jack something that smelled as good as the morning air.  Then he walked up a small hill to one of his favorite places.  There, he sat in the grass and watched the sunrise while he ate some warm bread for breakfast.  Oh, he thought, I would love to get something that Jack would love as much as I love this morning sunrise!  

Piper sat there all day feeling kind of blue because he couldn’t think of anything he could give to Jack.  He didn’t have any money to buy anything, and he wasn’t very good at making things.  He went to bed feeling sad, but he woke up early in the morning, determined to be the first person to wish Jack a happy birthday!  He warmed up some bread in the oven and though he still felt bad about not having a present for Jack’s birthday, he knew it would be worse to not wish Jack happy birthday at all.  So he went to Jack’s house early.  It was barely light, and Piper snickered because he knew his friend liked to sleep late.  He would wake him up and be the first person to say “Happy Birthday!”  

When Piper got to Jack’s house, he knocked on the door, and a very groggy Jack answered it.  ”Aw, Piper!” Jack whined.  ”You woke me up!”  Jack clapped and jumped up and down.  ”You want to wish me happy birthday?” Jack asked.  Piper nodded and held up the warm bread.  ”Okay,” Jack said, “Just a minute.”  It didn’t take long for Jack to get dressed, and very soon the two friends were walking along the river.  ”Wow,” Jack said, “It’s a beautiful morning. Smell that fresh air!”  The first light was easing its way through the branches.  The fog was gently lifting off the water.  Soon they were on top of the hill where Piper liked to eat his breakfast.  They ate the bread and watched the sunrise together.  

“I haven’t been up to see the sunrise in such a long time,” Jack said.  ”I forgot how amazing it is! Thank you, Piper!”  

When Jack said that, Piper became very happy!  Suddenly he realized that he did give Jack something as beautiful as the morning light, that smelled as good as the morning air, and something that he loved as much as the sunrise!  

Currently, for a several nights in a row, my son keeps asking me to tell him a story about Jack and Piper AND an animal that gets lost.  I have no idea why he chooses this theme.  We did not have any occurrence when he got lost, and to my knowledge he has not watched a television show with this theme, but maybe he did.  Who knows?  For whatever reason, I believe it is important to him, so I am indulging him with stories about an animal getting lost and Jack and Piper helping the animal get home.  For the first couple of stories, I just had Jack and Piper help the critter home, but then I wised up.  I used the opportunity to tell my son what he could do to find his way home, if he got lost.  So in my third story, I had Jack instruct the animal to remember what landmarks he passed on his way down the river.  They followed them back up the river, and helped him find his way.  In the fourth story, which I’ll share below, I gave the advice we always hear:  If you get lost, stay put!  (Tonight I told a similar story, and I’m starting to think I need to encourage him to think of a new theme.)

Another note before I share the story:  As I mentioned before, my son usually tells me what kind of animal gets lost.  For the story below, he pointed to a snake on his “Snakes of Georgia” poster that he has on the wall next to his bed.  The snake he pointed to was a Yellow Rat Snake.  (Yes, you know you love your child when you let him have a poster full of snake photos and are willing to tell him a story about a Yellow Rat Snake!)  Here it is:

One morning Jack decided to take a walk down by the river.  When he got there, he sat down on a rock and enjoyed watching the river, listening to the gurgling sound of the water.  Suddenly he saw a baby yellow rat snake slithering by on the path very fast!  

“Little snake!” he said.  ”Where are you going so fast?”  

“I’m looking for my mother!” the little snake said.  ”I’m lost!” 

“Oh no!” Jack said.  ”I’ll help you!  I’m very experienced at helping lost animals.”   (At this point my son asks me where Piper is, so I have to go get him.)  ”But first we need to go get my friend Piper.  He’ll help us.”

Relieved, the baby snake went along to Piper’s house.  When Jack told Piper that the snake needed help finding his mother, Piper nodded and came along.

“First,” said Jack, “We’ll go back to where I found you.”  Soon they were at the place where Jack was sitting that morning.  ”Now, Little Snake, where were you when you lost your mother?”

“Not far from here,” said the snake.  ”Over there!”  He looked in the direction of a big boulder that was sitting on the bank of the river.   “My mommy took my sister and I out to find food, and she found me a cricket.  Then she went off with my sister to find her some food.  And I was so busy eating that I didn’t notice that they were gone!”  The little snake cried.  He wanted his mama.

“Ah,” said Jack.  ”You know what?  I bet your mama isn’t far off.  The best thing to do when you’re lost is to stay right where you are.  Let’s go back to the boulder and wait.  I bet your mama will find us!”

“Okay,” said the little snake.  So Jack, Piper and the snake sat down by the big rock and waited.  The snake was still worried, but he was glad he had Jack and Piper to be with him. 

After a few minutes, the little snake’s mama and his sister came around a big tree that was close by.  ”Mama!” the little snake cried.  ”I thought I lost you!”

“I’m sorry you were scared,” said Mama.  ”I was right over there with your sister.”

Jack and Piper were very happy that they were able to help the little snake.  They waved good-bye and watched as the snake family slithered down the trail.  Then they went back to Piper’s house and played together for the rest of the day.

Okay, so it won’t win any awards, but it made a 5-year-old very happy.  I hope you’re inspired to tell stories to your child.  If I can do it, you can do it!  Just let your imagination go wild!

***

To read my other posts on storytelling, click on the following:

Book Review: Tell Me A Story by Chase Collins (This was also a newspaper column for the Barrow Journal.)
August 30, 2011

Every Mother’s Experience Is Different

How do we know what is best for our children?

In my latest column for the Barrow Journal, I wanted to honor the fact that every mother’s experience is different, and as I write about my boys, my family, and how we do things, I know that other mothers might not have the choices available to them that we do, or maybe they don’t want to do what we do.  Parents all have to decide what is best for their kids and their family as a whole.  If kids have loving parents who are trying their best to do what they think is right, then they are lucky.  We don’t all have to do it the same way.

I hope I did a good job conveying this message in my column.  I hope you’ll click here to read it and then give me your perspective.  And if you’re a parent, tell me a little of what your experience has been.

August 9, 2011

Our summer vacation in Chicago, Illinois

I have been absent from the Internet for over two weeks, and I haven’t missed it one bit!  But I have missed connecting with online and local friends while we’ve been away.  We took a 16-hour drive to my in-laws house north of Chicago, and while we were there, my sons met their Polish relatives, visited Chicago’s Botanical Garden, Field Museum, the Brookfield Zoo, and the Kohl Children’s Museum.  It was so much fun and quite an experience for them.  As I have time, I’ll post a few photos from our excursions.  (Be sure to click through the next three posts to see photos from those fun “field trips.”) Here’s a photo of my 4-year-old with his “Babcia.”  He’s very close to her, and he loved her small vegetable garden and other flowers.

If you’d like to read about our long drive and our first week in Chicago, I have written about that in my newspaper columns, which you can access by clicking on the links below.

Traveling with my Young Children

Visiting Grandparents in Chicago

June 11, 2011

I do too much. I don’t do enough.

Photos:

Top left – My latest photography job.

Top right – Taken on an excursion to the beautiful University of Georgia campus.

Bottom left – My budding gardener (pun intended).

Bottom right – A typewriter similar to what Margaret Mitchell would have used while writing a weekly column at the Atlanta Journal.  Since I’m reading Gone with the Wind, and this year is the book’s 75th anniversary, I visited the Margaret Mitchell House in Atlanta for their celebration event.  And it was a topic of one of my weekly columns, but unfortunately, they did not post it online, so I can’t share it with you.

♦♦♦

Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I think about all the personal goals that I have for myself:

~ Create a loving home. A house full of laughter and love, though not often clean or organized. Love is abundant, and at least there’s more laughter than otherwise.  Healthy meals? Well, my standards have sunk on that one, but we try. A garden that gives us pleasure. Yes, we get pleasure from gardening, even if it’s got weeds too.  Our yard is a work in progress.  Just like the house.  Just like our lives.  

~ Homeschool my children.  Teach them their letters and numbers.  Teach them to read.  Teach them how to be happy, healthy citizens in this crazy world.  Find more people to hang out with.  Take them places.  Play at home.  Yes, just go play.

~ Continue to work on my newspaper column.  Contribute to my family’s livelihood. Write ahead of myself.  Think of more topics.  Slow down and chose my words carefully.

~ Promote a part-time photography business.  Contribute to my family’s livelihood.  Market. Focus. Market. Photograph more.  Oh, the endless projects I have in mind. Photograph for pleasure.  Photograph for money.  Photograph because I love the tiny details and the light.  Oh, the light.  I am in love with my husband, my children and Light.

Those are just the main goals.  There’s always other, little goals popping up too.  Finish reading Gone with the Wind. Wipe the yogurt off his fingers and then take the milk cup back to the refrigerator.  Bathroom, shoes, then go outside.  Check e-mail to see if play date is happening tomorrow.  Read that book about the history of photography.  Work on a blog post.  Learn more about flash sync.  Do the laundry.  Fold the laundry.  Mop the kitchen floor.  Write those interview questions.  Look for new pants at Target.  Work on the Wildlife Habitat Project with four-year-old.  WHAT are we getting Daddy for Father’s Day?!

If I think about it all at once, I start to lose my cool.  Sometimes I do lose my cool.  Sometimes I get cranky with the kids.  Other times I ignore all the goals and live in the moment, and that’s what I try to do.  I think I’m pretty good at it.  Well, maybe not.  It depends on the day.

All I can do is work on one step at a time.  I may not have an organized house, but I have an organized “to do” list.  I use the desktop application “To Do Queue.” It allows me to keep a separate list for all my crazy goals.  And I just do what I can, when I can. Obviously, some things have more priority, like daily life and my newspaper column.  Those things just gotta get done.  Then I work on other stuff.  I have finally let the outcome go.  I don’t know if I can achieve all my goals, but if there’s one thing my children have taught me it’s that none of that is important.

What’s important is just learning A and then B and then C.  Keep learning.  Keep doing.  Keep going.  In that, I am happy.

May 23, 2011

Buying a Family Vehicle

It’s inevitable – every family gets bigger.  And as we get bigger, we need more space, especially in the car.  So I wrote about our adventure buying a family vehicle in this column for the Barrow Journal.

May 15, 2011

What I Have Learned From my Polish In-Laws

My 4-year-old calls my in-laws (above) by the Polish names for grandmother and grandfather, Babcia and Dzia Dzia.  That’s pronounced like BOP-CHA and JA JA.

This is a column I wrote for the Barrow Journal.  My in-laws are incredibly hard-working people who want to help their children in every way.  This is something I want to do for my children, and ideally, I think every generation should help each other more than I usually see in this culture we live in.

Click here to read the column.

May 9, 2011

Storytelling, Murder and what that has to do with Homeschooling

Above is a photo I took in the upstairs of the log house at the William Harris Homestead.  Oh, what those walls could tell us if they could talk!

There is nothing I love more than old, family stories.  I have written a few of my grandmother’s stories for the Barrow Journal, and recently I wrote a story about the Harris Family, whom I am related to through marriage.

My Great Aunt Jesse Harris wrote down a story about her husband’s great uncle, who committed murder in 1841 very near where I live today.  It was a heinous act that makes a fascinating story all these years later, and if you’d like to read it, click here.

But what does this have to do with homeschooling?  For that matter, what do stories have to do with homeschooling?  Everything, I think!

The word “story” is such a buzz word for me.  Within that one word, I think about life, lessons, wisdom, writing, creativity, entertainment, history, and the story that is mine ~ my life as it unfolds.

In The Wonder of Boys, Michael Gurian writes, “Kids of all ages, adults too, often learn more from listening to the tale and its in-depth interpretation than they do from a lecture by a parent, mentor, or educator.  Stories ‘speak to their souls’ in a way nothing else can.”

I want to teach my children where they came from by sharing with them the stories their great-parents passed down to me.   They’re not going to learn only the names of their ancestors, but they’re going to hear these stories and anything else I can remember about my grandmothers and other family members.

I want to teach them about their local history as well as their world history by sharing with them, for example, tales from the Harris Homestead, or visiting locals museums and reading the local literature.

With these stories and with other stories, whether real or made up, I want to teach my children about life.  I truly believe that stories can help us make wiser decisions as we piece together the stories of our own lives.  Children may see themselves in the characters they hear about, and they can evaluate for themselves whether or not those characters made good decisions and see what the outcomes were for those characters.

I want to teach my boys the value in oral storytelling and how it has informed many different cultures and religions about their own identity.  As we do this, we will be helping them create their own identities.

I had the privilege of knowing the late J.J. Reneaux, an award-winning storyteller and musician.  In the short time that I knew her, she taught me much about the value of stories, and because of her urging, I went to the National Storytelling Festival in Jonesborough, TN.  It’s one of my goals to take my boys one year when they are old enough to appreciate it.

Last but not least, stories are a wonderful way to teach children the basics of reading, writing, language and even math and science!

I could go on and on about stories, but I won’t.  Please tell me what you love about stories, any resources that you might know about, or share a good story that kids might love to hear!

Meanwhile, here are some interesting links/resources that I have found relating to storytelling and teaching:

Tell Me a Story by Chase Collins ~ a book recommended by Michael Gurian in The Wonder of Boys.  I have ordered myself a copy, so I’ll be sure to write about it someday.

National Storytelling Network’s Overview ~ lists some good points on why storytelling is important

Using Stories In the teaching of Life Lessons by Hermann A. Peine, Ph.D.  (PDF format)

Stories as Teaching Tools: The Humane Society of the United States

 

***

To read my other posts on storytelling, click on the following:

Book Review: Tell Me A Story by Chase Collins (This was also a newspaper column for the Barrow Journal.)

 

April 27, 2011

The Joys of Parenthood

This is a column that I wrote for The Barrow Journal.  It’s my favorite kind of column to write — one in which I can simply write a few details from my boy’s lives.  In this one I list some of the reasons why the daily grind of parenthood is worth it.  That is, I reflect on the tiny moments during the day when my boys amaze and delight me.

Click here to read the column.

I hope you’ll read it and then tell me what some of your favorite moments have been with your children.

March 24, 2011

Praying for Japan

This is a column I wrote for The Barrow Journal.  As a former JET participant, I feel a little like the earthquake and tsunami hit my home – or one of them.  Thankfully no one I know was hurt in the disaster, but there were wonderful people affected by it just like the ones I knew and loved.  Click here to read the full column.

And I decided to go dig out a few old photos and scan them.  The photo quality isn’t that great, but you can see me with a couple of my classes.  You can really see the personalities of those kids in these photos.  (Is it possible that they would be in their twenties by now?!)  The last photo is of me and Saki.  Of all the students in my school, she could speak English the best, so we bonded, and I’ll never forget her.

March 18, 2011

Happy Birthday to my Dad

This is my latest column on The Barrow Journal.  It’s a tribute to my dad, who turned 76 years old recently.  In it I mentioned my major memories from my childhood with my dad, who loved boating and traveling and often took us with him.  We also had our share of mishaps on these trips.  Below is a poem that I wrote many years ago about dad with a similar theme.  I usually don’t share poetry online….I’m not much of a poet.  But I thought I would make an exception because this relates to the column.

Happy Birthday, Dad!  Click here to go to the column.

 

 

 

water train


stranded countless times

down the Colorado,

and i didn’t care— the roving landscape,

the reds, browns

greens, blues and countless stars—

the night eased sensations

of just needin’ fixin’.

 

a man with a broken boat and fix-it tools is powerful and busy,

his grunts and moans float on the breeze of the white water

gushing from beneath the boat.

i knew he’d fix it,

or find someone to tow us in.

 

my father, the captain of countless water trains,

patrols, sympathetic vacationers or once the fuel barge and down wind

from the dumpster, we were hauled up river.

 

it never occurred to me to get angry or impatient

because life was always like this, vacations weren’t the same

without the boat or camper or car or something going down,

 

and i never felt safer than when i was stranded in a boat

on the Colorado

with four foot white caps

and a wavering achor.

March 5, 2011

Take Good Care of Your Feet, Especially When You’re a Mama

This is the column that I wrote for the Barrow Journal this week.  I had a bad couple of weeks recently when I hurt my foot and caught a nasty cold at the same time.  When you have two active, little boys, this is miserable.  I was laughing and crying at the same time, and I was so grateful that I knew I would get through it somehow.  When I felt a little better, all I could think to write about, of course, was feet.  I found out some interesting facts too.  Click here to read the column.

February 25, 2011

Internet Dating Tips

This is a column that I wrote for the Barrow Journal, and it was printed two days after Valentine’s Day.  Not many people know that my husband and I met on the Internet.  In this column, I give a few tips I learned after using match.com for a year before I met my husband.  Click here to read the column.
February 2, 2011

Life Lessons Learned While Living Abroad

This is a column I wrote for the Barrow Journal.  It’s about my first days traveling to London, England when I was fresh out of college and had not spent much time away from my family.  It was through the little things that happened to me that I learned the most about living life on my own.  Click here to read the full column.

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