Archive for ‘Life Stories’

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March 15, 2013

No Spring Break

Note: This column was published in the Barrow Journal on March 13, 2013.

Last week was my husband’s spring break, so we had planned some family excursions. Unfortunately, the six-year-old came down with a nasty stomach virus, and as I write this, the three-year-old is sniffling and sneezing.

My six-year-old was camped out on the sofa for four days, and more than one day I felt my blood pressure quicken while listening to him moan and try to overcome the nausea. I couldn’t concentrate on anything, and I got so tense watching him lose weight that now I have a muscle spasm in my shoulder.

My heart goes out to parents who are dealing with chronic illnesses in their children.  I can hardly stand to think about stuff like that.

My husband dealt with it in his own way. Not able to concentrate on his work, he busied himself with a different kind of work: cleaning out his upstairs closet. Don’t ask me how it is a man gets to claim a whole other closet as his own while my stuff is crammed into half of our small bedroom closet, but such is the case in our house. (Oh, he likes to tell me I have the bigger dresser, but I remind him that he claimed that extra closet as soon as we moved in. I only got the dresser a couple of years ago.)

He also installed new, more efficient light bulbs throughout our house, and now my bathroom is like walking into the afterlife. We have the sun in our hallway too. Still, I appreciate how he thinks about things like light bulbs and how he uses a busted spring break to clean out his closet.

My three-year-old took advantage of his older brother’s illness by getting me all to himself.  He had me doing big floor puzzles, throwing balls, and coloring big posters of the Dinosaur Train characters.  One morning we colored, painted with watercolors and then made a space shuttle out of clay all in the span of about two hours.

When the six-year-old is sick, I start to realize how helpful Older Brother is regarding spending time and playing with the three-year-old! I promise to never take him for granted again.

I didn’t mind spending all that time with the three-year-old though. It reminded me of the one-on-one time I had with the six-year-old for three years before he was born.  Though I wouldn’t trade either child for anything, there is something sweet about focusing your attention on one child. Noticing his every move. Hearing his every word. Just you and him.

I used to spend so much time outside with my firstborn, exploring our yard and taking hundreds of photos with my first digital point and shoot. Flowers, twigs, bugs and sunshine were our toys. Now I try to get both boys outside playing together while I steal time to myself. If I join them, they compete for my attention, and the sunshine isn’t so relaxing anymore.

When they’re both healthy, there’s always a little friction, but I’m lucky that they get along so well most of the time. They are good companions for one another.

The forecast is predicting warm weather this week. I’m very hopeful that we’ll be healthy again once this goes to print, and we’ll be playing in the yard or taking some kind of excursion.  Spring is peeping its head around the corner, and I’m running to it, arms flailing, ready to embrace it.

How is your spring break going? 

Posted in Life Stories, Motherhood, My Newspaper Columns | 1 Comment »

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February 7, 2013

Evening Routines

{Children} {Nightly Routine} {Bedtime} {Bedtime for Homeschoolers}

Obviously, this is an old picture…and I think it’s the only time they’ve ever slept together.

(Note: This column was published in the Barrow Journal on Wednesday, February 6, 2013.)

When my kids were infants and toddlers, I followed the common advice for parents to have a “nightly routine” so that the children could begin to relax and understand that it’s bedtime. This is supposed to make it easier to get them to sleep, and every parent knows that sleeping children are like manna from heaven.

As they got a little older, however, my boys became skilled at the fine art of stalling, and I learned that no matter what I did, bedtime gave them an extra dose of adrenaline. It was the last hurrah of the day, and there was no way to fight it without a lot of stress. I learned that it was better to start the evening routine early enough to include their antics.

Learning to be flexible about bedtime helped too. As homeschoolers, it doesn’t matter what time we get up in the morning, but for some reason I had this idea that since every other kid on the block was going to bed at 8:00p.m., mine should too.

It never worked out that way, and I let it bother me for a while. Then like everything else in my preconceived idea of what parenthood should look like, I let it go. Flexibility is one of the reasons I want to homeschool…why was I so worried about it?

We’ve had some crazy nighttime routines. When my eldest son was a toddler, we would breeze through about 20 books on his nightstand before saying goodnight. Later, he wanted to play games and then read his books. Later still, he wanted to run up and down the hallway with his little brother and occasionally his parents too. Sometimes we would pretend we were cheetahs or another animal.

Some days, this was the only time that both parents were focused on the children at the same time, so I know the boys capitalized on this. Whether they could verbalize it or not, having both their parents play a game with them for a few minutes meant a lot.

Some nights we played Simon Says or Hide and Seek, and other nights my son would make up a game for us to play. One was very similar to charades where we’d have to pretend to be an animal and the rest of us would have to guess what it was.

And then, finally, we could read a book. I’m not sure how we transitioned from one routine to the next. I do remember telling my son ahead of time when we had to only read three books instead of twenty (because he got old enough for me to actually read them), and then we went from three books to one (because he got old enough to read longer storybooks).

When I started the ritual of storytelling with my eldest son, that became our nightly routine, and it still is (no more games, thankfully). We brush our teeth, and then my husband puts my eldest son to bed while I read two short books to the three-year-old. Some nights I can overhear some good conversations between my husband and six–year-old, and it makes me happy. Then my husband and I switch. I tell a story to the six-year-old, and my husband will scratch the three-year-old’s back for a few minutes.

Sometimes this nightly routine can seem to drag on for too long, but it’s quieter now as I lay with my son in the darkness and tell him a story. Then we talk. I always ask him what his favorite part of the day was and if there was a part he didn’t like. Sometimes he has questions for me. If he asks good questions I don’t know the answer to, they become part of our homeschool day. Other times my answers lead to more questions.

Now that we’ve had six years of “nightly routines” I’ve learned that what used to stress me out is now my favorite time of day. I feel with certainty that despite our “designated school time,” this is when my six-year-old does the most learning. He is relaxed and willing to listen, and he also has our full attention for his questions.

Over the years our nightly routines have caused frustration, but making it part of our (the adults) daily routine has been key to making it less stressful and even enjoyable.

Tell me about your evening routine.

Posted in Homeschooling, Life Stories, My Newspaper Columns | 8 Comments »

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January 1, 2013

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

This has been a great year with so many wonderful memories.  I put together this slideshow of some of the places we’ve been and our adventures in homeschooling the boys.  It may be more interesting to our family members, but I hope you enjoy it.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

And WordPress tells me these were my most popular posts in 2012.  I thank each and every one of you for stopping by my little corner of cyberspace. You know I’m always here if you have any questions or want to chat about homeschooling!

I wish you and your families a fantastic 2013 with hopes that you’ll have lots of fun learning while making wonderful memories!

Posted in Life Stories, Photography, Traditions / Rituals / Holidays | 4 Comments »

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December 24, 2012

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas…

Here it is Christmas Eve, and I know that I should be writing a cheery post for the holiday season, but I’ve been sad lately.  I’m sad about several things: family who don’t want to spend the holidays together, people with strident views who let it interfere with their relationships, long lost friends who I once thought would be my friends forever, a community I so desperately want but have trouble finding.

But these things have been part of my life for a long time, and for the most part, I have found some peace within the walls of my own house.  If it weren’t for the recent shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School, I probably wouldn’t be so sad or remembering the sorrow in my life. The extremely polarized views in the media and the vitriol coming out of that disturbs me greatly.

I am someone who has always avoided – for better or worse – conflict.  I have had a hard time finding my voice or my opinion because I can usually see and feel both sides of an issue, and pinning down exactly what I think is hard.  I know what I feel, and I do have many opinions, but the biggest issues have so many shades of gray that I usually think I need to be a scholar in the subject before I take a stand. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to be a scholar on all the big issues.

All this a good writer does not make.

And I used to think this made me weak because someone once told me it was a “cop out” to not take a stand. After thinking about this for years, I have finally come to the conclusion that it’s simply how I operate, and it’s actually an asset. How many people have the capacity for thinking outside the box? Or for trying to empathize with the other side? Geez, I would rather be a person who had solid convictions. I think that would be much easier. I would have my community, and I wouldn’t care about the people outside that community.

I’ve been writing a weekly column for my local newspaper for three and a half years now, and fortunately I’ve picked a topic — motherhood and daily life — that doesn’t require me to have definite opinions on the Big topics.  I do have solid opinions on parenthood and homeschooling.

But in light of the recent tragic events, I have felt I need to talk about the tragedy because I am writing about motherhood and these events have affected so many parents.  If I were only writing on this personal blog, I wouldn’t feel I needed to write about it so much, but I’m writing for a newspaper, and that feels so different.

But I still don’t take big stands because I don’t have the answers.  I have more questions than answers at this point.   I’ve written two columns, “What Will The New Year Bring?” which asks a lot of questions yet reveals some of my opinions, and then “Homeschooling for Safety Reasons,” which is my response to those who are jumping into homeschooling because of this tragic event.  You’ll find these columns in the newspaper and here on my blog over the next couple of weeks.

I am grateful for having this experience as a columnist because it’s making me think more about where I want to take a stand and where I want to get more information. It’s given me a thicker skin, and yet it’s made me weary too.  Many weeks I think what’s the use of writing about any of this? So few really care. Or they think I’m crazy. What am I writing for?

But it’s taught me that I’m writing for myself, and that’s where I get my joy. I have always wanted to write, and I am writing.

Excuse me for babbling on Christmas Eve.  I promise I’m going to shake this gloomy feeling. I’m using the nifty WordPress tool to schedule my blog posts to publish automatically this week, and I’ve already got them in the queue.  I can close my laptop and concentrate on the things I’m thankful for and what makes me happy this Christmas:

  • A husband who I can disagree with yet know he’ll always love me deeply. The longer we’re married the more I realize that I married him for the great conversations we have.
  • Two little boys who give me more joy than I can possibly describe here.
  • A warm house.
  • Two dogs, a cat, and some fish that have hung on to life longer than I ever imagined little fish could.
  • New friends.
  • Friends for my boys.
  • The freedom to write whatever I want.
  • My camera.
  • My health.
  • The option to homeschool and spend this awesome, quality time with my children. To not have to try to figure out how to balance work and family life.
  • Online friends, which I consider a bonus.
  • Stories.

Do you get sad over the holidays? And what makes you happy?

Posted in Life Stories, Motherhood | 10 Comments »

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December 20, 2012

Sad Tidings, Good Tidings

This is Josh. I told you he was adorable.

Note: This column was printed in the Barrow Journal on December 19, 2012.

Last week I wrote a draft of this column and titled it “Good Tidings.”  I wanted to tell you how my children have decked my halls with Christmas decorations and how, during this holiday season, I was basking in the warmth of some close friends’ and family’s good fortunes.

But then the massacre in Connecticut occurred on Friday, and on the same day, a man with a knife injured 22 children at a school in China, which is part of a series of attacks happening in schools in that country.  The warmth I felt from my good tidings turned cool and somber.

As a mother with young children, I can barely stand to read the news. When something horrible happens, I feel a heavy heart, but when it involves children, I get choked up and feel a cloud hang over me all day. I hug my children more, and I thank God for what I have right now.

I can’t imagine what the families are going through in Connecticut. I can’t imagine a lot of things going on this world. All I can do is be grateful for each day that my family lives in relative peace and harmony, and when good things happen, I can rejoice and let it remind me why I chose to get up each morning and continue on with this life.

Good things have happened recently, such as that I became an aunt again – for the sixth time – and my boys acquired a new cousin.  He’s a healthy baby boy who will be welcomed home by two older brothers and a house full of relatives at Christmastime. I only wish we lived closer so that I could personally welcome him into the world.

I also have good news to report about my friends who were seeking to adopt a baby in the U.S. through an open adoption. If you read my column, you may remember that I wrote about them awhile back. Seeking open adoption was a very emotional journey for them because the adoptive parents are never sure whether a birth mother will pick them.

Fortunately, my friends did get picked, and though it was difficult to finalize an out-of-state adoption, they did bring their beautiful baby girl home to California. I haven’t heard much from them since they got home, but I certainly understand how very busy they must be!

Fortunately for me, I was able to participate in a joyous occasion that happened closer to home. On the morning of my nephew’s birth, I accompanied one of my dearest friends, her husband, and their newly adopted son in their final step in the adoption process. I was asked to photograph the occasion.

About two years ago, my friend began the process to adopt a child from Korea, and a year later they were matched with the most adorable boy whom they have named Josh.  Fortunately, they had a good experience adopting from Korea, and Josh spent his infancy with a kind foster family who loved him dearly.

I met them on a chilly morning and waited with them and their lawyer on a bench in a big hallway outside the judge’s office.  Like most two-year-olds, Josh was full of energy, and he enjoyed running up and down the carpeted hallway, giving his parents a good morning workout.

The meeting with the judge was brief and jovial, and as my friends answered questions, I took photos. I even got a short film clip of Josh giving the judge a high five.

It’s that high five that I will meditate on as I celebrate Christmas with my two boys and husband next week.  I hope that for you and your family, you will be sharing good tidings and making new memories this holiday season. Merry Christmas.

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November 29, 2012

Happy Birthday, Mom

Note: This column was printed in the Barrow Journal on November 28, 2012.

This week my mother is turning 72 years old, though if you ask her, she might say she’s 75.  That’s right…her way of thinking is that if she tells you she’s older, you’ll say, “Wow! You look great for your age!”

Now that I’m a mother, I can look back on my childhood and appreciate the sacrifices and unconditional love my mother has given me.  My mom loved dancing, and she taught young children how to dance before she married my father.  She has never stopped loving dance, and she taught Dancercise when I was young, but mostly, she stayed home and took care of her home and children.

I don’t know if she ever had aspirations outside of family life, but I do know she doesn’t regret her choices.

If you had asked me when I was twenty if I wanted to follow in my mom’s footsteps and be a stay-at-home mom, I would have said, “No way.”  There were a lot of things I wanted to do, but having children was not high on my priority list.

Now, I credit my mothering ability partly to the example she gave me. Perhaps I can also credit my storytelling abilities to my mother.  My grandmother told me how as a child my mother would tell her friends outrageous stories.  For example, she told one of her friends that a man used to drive through Athens with a big truck, and he would pick up little children and take them to the river and drown them! My grandmother got a call from the friend’s parent for that one.

I can’t remember my mother telling me outrageous stories, but I can remember her tickling me until I fell off the bed and singing with her as she played the piano.  I remember her playing games with me to pass the time on long road trips, and I remember the prom dresses she spent too much money on to make me happy.

Growing up I had friends whose mothers were less than exemplary, and I could see that while sometimes I butted heads with my mom – probably because we’re alike – I was lucky to have her.  She has always been my biggest fan.  I’m certain that she’s the only person in the world who has read every word I’ve ever published.

I don’t have the words to express my deepest gratitude for that.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my mother it’s that I need to pay attention to my children. I need to want to know what they are willing to share.

My children will learn soon enough that the rest of the world cares very little about their needs, desires and the minor details of their lives. Though I hope they’ll find a community who supports and uplifts them, I plan to be the one who will always be there, no matter what.

I am lucky that I have a lot of people in my life who love me, support me, and would help me if I needed it, but my mother has been the one person whom I always knew I could turn to immediately, if I needed it.  There were times in my life when I lacked a community – I traveled and lived outside the country twice – but I always knew I could reach my mom at any moment.  That’s a feeling of security that every person deserves to have.

Happy birthday, Mom.  I love you, and I’m grateful everyday that you are my mom.

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November 12, 2012

Creating New Family Traditions

Note: This column first appeared in the Barrow Journal on Wednesday, November 23, 2011 (you can view it online here), and shortly after, appeared on my blog. I’m re-posting it now because we’re entering the holiday season again, which can be stressful for many, including me. It’s important to think about what you want for your family at this season, and I hope this inspires you. Please leave me a comment and tell me about your favorite family traditions.

There’s a time when old traditions need to die, a time for new traditions, and a time when old traditions can be reborn with new meaning.

In years past, I have always felt a little lonely during the holidays.  I wished I had a big, happy family that didn’t live so far apart, so we could all come together and eat a lot of food, play games, and exchange stories.

My husband and I are usually invited to a relative’s home each Thanksgiving, and we’ve always gone, but this year I did an uncomfortable thing and turned down the invitation.  It’s because I began to think about what kind of memories I want to create for my two boys.

Except for my dad and step-mom, we rarely see our Georgia relatives during the year, so for my boys, it would almost be like visiting a stranger’s house on the holiday.  What do I really want for them?  I want them to remember the holidays in their childhood home with their loved ones.

So this year we’re going to have a cozy Thanksgiving at home, and we’ll make a big meal (big to us, that is), and we’ll start the tradition of stating what we’re thankful for at the dinner table.

This time of year has got me thinking about family traditions in general too.  A few years ago, I had a conversation with my brother (who is also starting his family) about how we need to create our own family traditions, especially since so many of our traditions were blurred by divorce and moving from state to state.

Shortly after having that conversation, my brother and sister-in-law sent me some books about creating family traditions as a Christmas gift.  The Book of New Family Traditions by Meg Cox and Together Creating Family Traditions by Rondi Hillstrom Davis and Janell Sewall Oakes are beautiful books that have given me many good ideas.

Yet I’m aware that the best traditions spring forth spontaneously.  I have to be careful about stating, “Here is a new tradition we are going to start…” What if I’m the only one on board that boat?  Traditions need to be something the whole family enjoys.

We all have traditions whether we realize it or not.  Religions give us many of our traditions.  My family follows the Christian traditions of observing Christmas and Easter, and we’ll continue to do so.  Traditions can also be unique to each family.

In The New Book of Family Traditions, I read about a family that every month during the full moon, they go outside and roast marshmallows in the moonlight.  By coincidence, my family took a moonlit walk the other night.  We showed our son where Jupiter was and looked for constellations.  It was so much fun, I’m wondering if I could make that happen every month.  (Or almost every month?)

Traditions can be simple daily exercises.  Some people say grace before mealtimes; others enjoy a slow cup of coffee in the mornings (that’s me).  Come to think of it, I have already started the ritual of telling my five-year-old a story every night. Even if I feel uninspired and tell him a boring tale, he seems to love it, and I know that somehow this is imparting my love and beliefs to him.

And this is what traditions do at their best: They give a family or community a reason to come together and share their love and commonality with each other. This in turn gives an individual a sense of belonging.  I want my boys to feel that being part of this family is important. When life gets tough I want them to have a place to come to and feel loved.

This is why we’ll have Thanksgiving and Christmas at home from now on, and I’ll be looking for ways to expand our old traditions, making them more meaningful to us.  I’ll also be thinking about new traditions I can add throughout the year.

What are your traditions?  Old or new?  I would love to hear what your family does because it may give me ideas for my own.  Please leave me a comment.  And in the future, I’ll write about what kinds of traditions we have started or renewed.

You can view all my posts regarding seasonal traditions (which I’m still working on) here: Traditions / Rituals / Holidays

Posted in Life Stories, Motherhood, My Newspaper Columns, Traditions / Rituals / Holidays | 6 Comments »

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November 10, 2012

The Ups and Downs of Parenthood

Note: This column was printed in the Barrow Journal on November 7, 2012.

October was a rough month for us.  The boys got sick for the second time this fall.  All those wonderful festivals and things to do at this time of year got cancelled for us.  That didn’t surprise me. Now I’m kind of used to missing fun things because something comes up – that’s part of having kids that you learn about real quick.

What did surprise me was my reaction to my six-year-old’s stomach virus.  I thought I was passed the point of being an overreacting parent.  You know, when you have your first born infant, you’re overprotective and extra vigilant about everything.  When baby gets sick, your doctor is more concerned about calming you down than about the baby’s illness.

By the second child, you’re an old pro.  You don’t have to call the doctor anymore.  Colds and flus are dealt with at home.  When healthy, you overlook the fact that your son is crawling on an unswept floor, and you just sigh heavily and say a prayer when you see him lick the shopping cart’s handle.

But I have not been through a stomach virus such as this, and I was that much more hyper because a few months before this same son became dehydrated when he had a cold – he refuses to eat or drink if he has a sore throat.  So I was watching him like a hawk and pushing sips of water the best I could.

It was horrible, and my already skinny kid lost a lot of weight. It happened over the weekend too – kids always get sick on the weekends and at night when doctor’s offices are closed. So I pestered our doctor twice on the phone, and he assured me the virus was going around and my son would improve in time. It wasn’t fast enough for me, however, and if it hadn’t been for a more cool-headed husband, I probably would have taken him to the hospital.

This autumn the three-year-old is also taking us on round 2 of the terrible threes. (It’s not the terrible twos! It’s the terrible threes!) To top it off, he’s taken up screaming too. I’m not talking about temper tantrums – he screams when he’s happy, and he screams when he’s upset. It’s nerve-wracking to say the least.

His lack of volume control is also unfortunate for my husband who recently started working at home full-time. Sound travels through this house as well as it travels across water, so there really isn’t a quiet corner anyone can escape to. This whole season has been about adapting and adjusting to the ups and downs of parenthood.

It hasn’t been all bad. My six-year-old has impressed me with his ability to concentrate during our morning homeschool lessons despite distractions from his little brother. Two months ago I wasn’t sure we would make much progress on his math or reading skills any time soon, but suddenly my son is counting by 2s and 5s and reading is starting to click too.

Being sick also gave us the excuse to slow down and enjoy the autumn weather in our yard and do some painting and creating.  My six-year-old gets ideas from the children’s programs he watches, and it’s fun to watch him take on an art project and do it by himself.

We also enjoyed a fun, healthy Halloween week, which made up for missing out on some things earlier in the month.  We had a small Halloween party with friends, attended Bear Hollow Zoo’s “Boo at the Zoo” event, and went trick or treating in our neighborhood on Halloween night.  Oh, and I turned yet another year older, but let’s not dwell on that.

Whenever I experience the lows of parenthood, I remind myself that “this too shall pass.” Hopefully the upcoming holiday season will be healthy and stress free – for you and for me.

How has your Autumn been?

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October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween

Pumpkin with a Brain. For instructions, click here.

Note: This column is printed in the October 31, 2012 edition of the Barrow Journal.

Once a couple creates a family, they realize that family life is full of harrowing moments and howls in the dark. Little monsters — ahem — Lovable little monsters invade their lives…

This will be my sixth Halloween with children, and in that time it’s become my favorite holiday.  The fact that it’s also my birthday might play a part in that too, but really, it doesn’t have the stress that comes with Christmas or Thanksgiving.  Stress shouldn’t come with any holiday, but unfortunately it does.  Halloween…it’s just fun.

The weather is beautiful. I love autumn temperatures, changing leaves and the opportunity to make soup. We can get outside frequently, do some gardening and pull out the hiking boots.

Costumes are fun, though sometimes a challenge.  At one-year-old, my sons were both too young to protest the pumpkin costume I made them wear.  As they get older, they are more opinionated.  At two, my eldest liked the Peter Pan costume I picked for him, but I knew better than to try to put anything over his head.

At three, he had his “not interested in Halloween” year.  The decorations in the stores scared him, and my husband ended up treating him to McDonalds on the night of Halloween while I stayed home to greet the trick or treaters.

Last year my three-year-old also went through that phase, and he wanted nothing to do with trick or treating or a costume. I don’t know which way he’ll go this year, but I haven’t bothered to buy him a costume. I can’t get him to wear long sleeves let alone a costume (and coincidently his brother dislikes short sleeves – go figure.)

My six-year-old is all into Halloween costumes now, and this year he made it easy on us by not having any pre-conceived idea of what he wanted to be. He just wanted to go to the store and look.  We were there quite a while and almost came home empty-handed. Why do costume makers think all little boys want to be super heroes?  My son is not into super heroes at all.

Finally I spotted something we had overlooked, and my son grabbed it right away – an extraterrestrial!  It’s a green costume with three-fingered gloves and a mask with big, black eyes. The torso has a faint outline of the internal organs of this alien. Simple, yet very cool looking.

All children should be encouraged to play make-believe, and I consider Halloween a celebration of that.  As with any holiday or ritual, each new family has to create their own traditions and meanings.  Sometimes we keep old traditions, tweak them, or change them altogether.  For me, Halloween is for the children.  It’s a chance for them to be whatever they want and continue the play as they step out into the community.

It’s also fun for me because I get to watch how excited they are, and I get to accompany them on their journey around the neighborhood – a good excuse to get out and say hello to the neighbors too.  The candy is another story, especially since I end up eating so much of it, but that’s a small price to pay for a day of play.

Here’s wishing you a safe and happy Halloween.

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October 8, 2012

Welcoming a New Addition

Note: This column was printed in the Barrow Journal on October 3, 2012.

A few weeks ago one of our beloved dogs died, and our other dog, Banjo, sat on our back deck looking pretty lonesome.  So we went in search for a new member of the family, and we finally found her: a 9-month-old sight hound mix that was starving and so skinny that the shelter named her “Skinny Minny.”

We thought she needed a better name, and something that represented her elegance and feistiness. We named her Kayla.

This was the first time all four of us were able to go looking for a new dog, and we especially wanted our six-year-old to be involved in every step.  We knew this would be the dog he would bond with and remember as “his dog” someday when he looked back on his youth.

We had specific requirements for this dog because Banjo is a smallish dog, and we wanted a dog of comparable size.  We also wanted a female because we’ve discovered from experience that having a boy and girl dog makes for better relations than two dogs of the same sex.  It was important that our young children could be able to handle the dog too.

So we took our time looking for just the right dog, but I have to tell you, folks, it wasn’t easy passing up all those dogs needing homes.  (The Barrow County Animal shelter is a tear-inducing, tragic place.  They had dozens of dogs and plenty of cats!  So please if you have a little room in your heart, home and wallet, think about saving an animal in need.  Their lives literally depend on it.)

This is Kayla the day after we got her…she was found wandering the streets and starving. At this point she had been in the shelter for a week and was starting to gain weight.

After looking online, we visited Kayla’s shelter to see another dog, but it was already gone.  This was lucky because while we were there, my six-year-old and I saw Kayla at the same time, and I knew in an instant she was the one.  She was quiet and all bones, but she looked kind and curious.

When a volunteer took her out of the cage, she was immediately affectionate with us.  Clearly she was starved. Someone had found her roaming the streets and brought her to the shelter.  They said she never barked, and one of the volunteers wrote on the website that she was his favorite dog at the shelter at that time.

There is a waiting period after a dog is brought in to the shelter in order to give the owner time to claim it, and Kayla still had a few days left.  We hated to leave her there, but we had no choice.

On the day we could pick her up, my boys were so excited, and we were happy they could be part of the process.  We even took them with us when we took her to the veterinarian for a check-up and also later, when she was a little healthier, to get her spayed.

Kayla has been with us for a few weeks now, and she’s made a place in each of our hearts, especially the six-year-old’s.  Every morning when he wakes up, he looks for her to say good morning, and after his school lessons, he wants to go outside and play with her.

Little did I know that this dog would be the “playmate” I have always longed for.  Both boys are spending more time outside, roaming our small patch of woods with the dogs and their imaginations.  They need me less, and it’s the life I have been dreaming of for them.

Banjo is also much happier.  He was not at first, and I’ll never forget his loathsome look when we first started letting Kayla join him in the backyard.  She made attempts to play with him, and he would growl through the side of his teeth and stare at us.  “Please take her back,” he seemed to say.

It was only five years ago when he was in Kayla’s place, trying to coax our older dog, Millie, to wrestle with him!  And Millie gave him a heck of a time – just as he gave Kayla a heck of a time.  Then one day we looked outside and saw he had a change of heart.  They’ve become pals.

I think he realized, after all, Kayla is quite a babe.  She is a very beautiful dog, especially now that she has gained weight and confidence, and she’s finally got her bark back.  She uses it mostly on Banjo whenever she’s feeling feisty and ready to romp.

Posted in Life Stories, My Newspaper Columns | 7 Comments »

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