January 28, 2012

Homeschool Priorities Part 5: Spend Quality, Stress-free Time Together

a photo from last year - a day spent together

My fifth homeschool priority for my children (at any age) is to spend quality, stress-free time together.  For the purpose of this blog post, I’m mostly referring to the time I spend with my boys during the week while daddy is at work.  Making time for the whole family is another priority, but it’s not hard to manage that, so for now I’ll simply refer to our daily routine.

This is an ongoing goal, and with the ebb and flow of life, it doesn’t always happen.  I try to pace our schedule so that we have plenty of time at home to play, but inevitably there will be weeks when it seems like we’re going somewhere everyday!  It’s very easy to do this.  Consider:

  • at least one play date
  • at least one necessary shopping trip/other errand
  • the 5-year-old’s classes
  • a day out with daddy
  • church
  • not to mention: visits to grandpa’s house, the occasional doctor’s appointment, more errands that need doing, & library visits, which don’t happen enough.
  • You get the picture! I could easily fill our days with places to go.

In addition, with young children, I cannot leave the house more than once a day.  Did I mention we live 20~30 minutes from the nearest grocery store?  Yeah.  That doesn’t help either.  The two-year-old still needs a nap in the afternoon.  And sometimes I do too!

Weekly Schedules~

Life can be hectic sometimes, but when it does, I simply stop planning things to do and take time off.  I’m a homebody at heart, so it’s in my blood to hang out at home.  I don’t need to be on the go all the time, but I do need a balance between being social and having time at home.

I’ve also learned what works for us and what doesn’t.  My eldest son seems more comfortable with one friend his age instead of in a large group.  I used to worry about trying to get involved in some kind of regular homeschooling group, but now I don’t.  Right now, we don’t need that.  I admit that I feel I lose out on connections that way.  I would like to have a wider circle of mama friends to talk to regularly, and I’ve met some really cool women that I’d like to get to know better, but in the end, I know I have to do what’s best for my boys.

We’ve met some boys his age, and I try to schedule a play date with one of them at least every other week, if not every week. This doesn’t always happen because kids get sick and unexpected things pop up, but that’s my goal anyway.

Quality Time~

When we are home, I try to be mindful about spending quality time with the boys.  I have a lot to do around the house, and I have personal goals (like this blog) to keep me distracted, but I’ve put in place a daily schedule that makes it easier for me to know that I have spent quality time throughout the day with the boys.  I may write more about our specific daily and weekly routines in the future, but for now I’ll just say:

In the morning after breakfast, we have together time, which begins with book time.  We each pick one book to read, and sometimes we read more, if we feel like it..   (Since the boys tend to pick the same books over and over this is the best method I have found to make them happy while also making sure they get to read a variety of books.  Not to mention keep my brain from atrophying!)

After book time, we usually do puppet shows, but I don’t push it.  The past few mornings my eldest son has been wanting to build things with popsicle sticks, and this morning we painted our creations!  So as you can see, if the boys are playing well together or occupied in another productive activity, I go with the flow.

And that’s another way I try to create stress-free, quality time….I go with the flow.  Usually it’s best if I just toss my agenda out the window.  Now that my five-year-old is getting older and more imaginative, he is full of ideas, and many of them are excellent, productive ideas!  How can I stop that?

On the flip side, there are days that seem aimless, and if the boys want me to play play play with toys and games that never seem to end, I can feel my patience and enthusiasm waning.  I’m not saying that their play is bad.  No, it’s great.  It’s just not always what this 40-year-old mama wants to be doing.  So if I can kind of steer their day, it helps me stay enthusiastic, gives us plenty of time together which in turns gives me a chance to say, “Now you guys go upstairs and play by yourselves for a little while.”  If I have put in my quality time, I don’t feel guilty about making them play without me.  And it’s good for them too!

I’m also trying be more mindful of the time I spend with my boys.  I’m very much influenced by the Buddhist practice of mindfulness, and I think parenting is wonderful opportunity to practice mindfulness.  (If you want to read more about this, I highly recommend the book Buddhism for Mothers of Young Children by Sarah Napthali.  You don’t have to be Buddhist to get something out of her book.)

As time goes by, I am finding it much easier to let the rest of the world slide by, forget about all the things I want to do, and just soak up my children.  You are two-years-old, and you have the cutest smile.  You are five-years-old, and I love listening to you talk and explain your magical world to me.  I put off things that I have to do, and guess what?  It  gets done anyway.  

Simply put, it takes practice to be a mother, and I guess I’m getting better at it.

This is a topic that I could go on and on about, but I’d rather hear from you.  How do you ensure that you’ll spend quality time with your children when life pulls us along at such a high speed?

Posted in A Bit o' Me Philosophy, Homeschooling, Motherhood | 1 Comment »

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January 24, 2012

Worthy Reads

I’m taking a break from my series about Homeschool Priorities to bring you an installment of Worthy Reads.  This is because my reader has been filling up with interesting articles, and I need to clean it out.

But first, I have to thank Simple Homeschool for including me on their Weekends Links.  What an honor!  I’m especially humbled because I’m so busy with my boys that I don’t get a chance to read other blogs as much as I like, so I really appreciate the shout out.  And for anyone who is a new subscriber, thanks so much for following me.  You really encourage me to keep going.

Here are some Worthy Reads I’ve come across in the last few weeks.  A few of them were passed on to me by my awesome Twitter friends.  Thanks, guys!

Homeschooling

In Praise of Homeschools - Excellent argument FOR homeschooling.

Why an innovative educator cares about homeschooling / unschooling and why you might too and

The Innovative Educator’s Guide to Getting Started with Unschooling - This whole blog looks like it’s worth following!

What the U.S. Census says about homeschool families - “A disportionate percentage of homeschooled students are boys — 58 percent, even though boys are a slight minority in the U.S. school population.”

Regarding Boys  (These will also be added to my post Worthy Reads for Raising and Educating Boys, which is my attempt to compile information on this subject.)

Teaching boys to be men – Interesting article about a boy’s school in Kenyan newspaper.  The quote I found most provocative in the article: “Why boys? Though she knows she might sound unpopular, Purity believes that the girl child has been empowered at the expense of the boy.”

Teacher and dad Michael Reist urges retooled approach to raising boys in new book

Anything Boys Can Do…Biology may play only a minor role in the math gender gap: Scientific American

Education

What Americans Keep Ignoring About Finland’s School Success - “Finland’s success is especially intriguing because Finnish schools assign less homework and engage children in more creative play.”

Why Schools Don’t Value Spatial Reasoning - Very interesting, and I agree with this.  My 2-year-old seems to excel in spatial reasoning, so this topic is of interest to me.

Why Don’t We Value Spatial Intelligence - After reading the article above, I had to go to the article he cited – another good read.

Storytelling

Your Storytelling Brain – a bit of neuroscience related to my favorite topic, storytelling.  My favorite quote: “What stories give us, in the end, is reassurance.”

Parenting

Why A Teen Who Talks Back May Have a Bright Future – “Effective arguing acted as something of an inoculation against negative peer pressure. Kids who felt confident to express themselves to their parents also felt confident being honest with their friends.”

If you’ve found any worthy reads lately, please leave a link in the comments!

Posted in Blog Business, Worthy Reads | 2 Comments »

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January 22, 2012

Homeschool Priorities Part 4: Teaching him how to find answers

My third homeschool priority is teaching my children how to find answers to their questions.  Right now this applies to my five-year-old since my two-year-old doesn’t have many questions yet, but he follows along.

This is an idea I have to credit to Lori of Camp Creek Blog and my source for learning about project-based homeschooling.  When I wrote my columns about project-based learning, she emphasized that it’s important to show children how to look for answers, and more importantly, encourage them to ask questions.

I know I encourage my son to ask questions because I never discourage them, and I always give him as detailed an answer as possible.  When I don’t know the answer, I tell him it’s a great question and we’ll have to look it up at such and such time. (He rarely asks a question when it’s convenient to find the answer.)  I tell him, “Keep asking these great questions!”

As Lori suggested, I tried keeping a notepad handy and jotting down his questions, but that just didn’t stick.  It also doesn’t help that he usually asks wonderful questions while I’m driving the car, especially when we’re coming home from someplace and I’m exhausted.  But even if I know we’ll probably forget about it, I always say we can look that up later.  At the very least he knows I honor I his curiosity.

One thing Lori suggests, which is a great idea, but I often forget to do it, is to ask, “Where do you think we could find the answer to that?”  Usually he answers “the computer,” but he did surprise me once by suggesting another resource we had on our shelves: some cards with pictures and facts about animals.

Here are some things I do and plan to do as I move forth and try to keep my memory from lagging!

  • Before going to the library, I ask him what kind of books he might like to check out. He usually picks topics about questions he’s recently asked me. (This attests to the fact that children do have good memories when they are interested in something!)
    • In addition to this, when we’re at the library, I encourage him to ask the librarian for the books he wants.
  • I want him to learn that he can turn to people for answers.  For example:
    • As we begin history lessons (I haven’t done this yet), my son will have a great resource: his father who is a history professor.
    • Currently, my son is fascinated with snakes. One of my best friends is a herpetologist, so I’m going to propose to my son that we write her a letter with a list of questions that he might have. (If this works out, I’ll be sure to blog about it.)
    • As he develops more interests, I hope to tap into our network of friends, relatives or the community, if possible. (This can also be called socializing!)
  • Some of his questions might be answered by acting like a scientist: observing, experimenting, using all of his senses, etc..  That is, whenever possible, I need to remember to help him find other ways of answering questions and not always supply quick answers or resources.
  • In the future, I plan to teach my son what online sources are reputable and to be aware that not everything we read may be accurate.
    • Now as we explore the web together, I’m sorting and bookmarking certain web pages on his computer.  This may help with that.
  • Last but not least, I remind my son about the books and resources we have at home.
    • For example, when he had a question about clouds, I reminded him that we had a book about clouds, and we got it and read it right then.
    • I am not opposed to looking on Netflix and seeing if they have some kind of show or documentary about his topic of choice.  I think educational television is a wonderful resource, especially for auditory/visual learners, which I think applies to my five-year-old.  He amazes me how he’ll sit and watch a long documentary that is intended for an adult audience.  He may not grasp all of it, but his curiosity keeps him interested.

Please give me more ideas.  How do you teach your children how to find answers for themselves?

Posted in Homeschooling, Kindergarten, Project-based Homeschooling | Leave a Comment »

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January 17, 2012

Homeschool Priorities Part 3: Exploration * Nature

The second priority on my list for my boys at ages 5 and 2 is Exploration and Nature.

I’m not aware of many families who don’t love nature and see the value in getting out into it, but unfortunately there must be some reason that a book like Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv is being written.  No, I have not read that book, but it and many others on this list look intriguing.  I hope to read some of them.

I have always loved nature.  I was lucky to have parents who enjoyed getting out into nature, and with them, I’ve traveled to many national parks in the U.S.  My dad loved boating, so we were often on a lake on weekends too.

My husband grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, and he and his friends would play in an alleyway.  He said one of their neighbors would be enraged if any of the kids stepped one foot onto the small square of grass that was his front yard.  Fortunately, I had a nice yard as a child, although I have done my fair share of living in apartments too.

Anyway, my husband and I both fell in love with our yard before we fell in love with the house, although we love it too.  We have less than an acre, but it’s still big by our standards, and it has woods with a variety of trees.  So our nature and exploration starts in our own yard.   

Here are some simple things I do to let my boys explore and appreciate nature:

Most importantly, I hope that I impart the wisdom to respect and take care of nature and be very careful with it.  We follow my son’s knee-high naturalist teacher’s advice when turning over rocks and large branches.  Pull it towards you. If there’s an animal under it, doing this will allow that animal an escape route.  It will also keep you safe!

I used to be wary of letting the boys play with sticks, but then I saw this Ted Talk by Gever Tulley, and it gave me a different perspective.  So I give firm rules about playing with sticks.  (And I keep my eyes on them like glue!)  They can’t get too close to each other when they have a stick, and if they don’t follow this rule, the sticks have to be put down.

Once I needed to channel their energy and the stick toting, so with some fast thinking, I started making this little “shelter,” and the boys helped me gather the sticks and build it.

We are also fortunate that we live in rural Georgia, though we’re between the big city and a college town, which supplies us with a lot of culture and art.  We are two hours from the nearest mountain hiking trails, and we’re five hours from the ocean.  But when we can’t travel, we have Ft. Yargo, The State Botanical Garden of Georgia, the Sandy Creek Nature Center and many other parks and places to get us outside.

But wait.  I didn’t mean for “Exploration” to only imply exploration of nature.  I let my boys explore everything as long as it’s safe to do so.  When my five-year-old asks me questions about the human body, I get a book about the human body, a human body model and we also look online.  We explore his questions.

When my two-year-old wants to get into the cupboards, I lock the ones that aren’t safe, and I allow him to crawl into the other ones, pull out the pots, bowls, and whatever else might be in there.  I let him explore the world around him.

My husband and I have taken our boys to museums, aquariums, zoos, parks, and wildlife areas as much as we can.  Together we explore what’s out there.

I don’t consider myself an expert on kids; I’m learning this as I go.  But if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that kids need freedom to explore, and they need nature.  Even if it’s just a small park with some grass they can roll around in.  But my hope for all children is that they can have the whole world.

I could go on and on about this subject, but I would like to hear from you.  Please tell me what you do to encourage your children to explore the world and get into nature.

Posted in A Bit o' Me Philosophy, Homeschooling, Kindergarten, Preschool, Resources for Georgia Homeschoolers | 6 Comments »

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January 14, 2012

Homeschool Priorities Part 2: Imagination * Play * Motion * Literature

scenes from my five-year-old’s puppet show

My first priorities for my sons at the ages of 5 and 2 are: imagination, play, motion and literature.

I grouped imagination/play/motion together because they go hand and hand.  At five-years-old, my son is using his tremendous imagination constantly.  The two-year-old is quite adept at it too. Playing is their number one job.  Right now as I type this, the five-year-old is upstairs with all his stuffed animals.  He has arranged them “just so” on his bed, and he says he’s keeping them warm.

He runs up and down the hallway, and he pretends he’s a horse. He “flies” toys around the house. Outside, he’ll find a strand of wild onion, tell me it’s an “eel” and then go feed it “ants.”

I’m thrilled to see that at five- and two-years-old, my boys are beginning to play together well, creating forts and pretending to be dinosaurs or ocean animals.  (This is also a big relief to me because I’m getting a little more free time to myself.)

Rough and tumble play is a frequent activity in our house.  My boys are always moving, always pretending, and I don’t want to discourage that.  There is clear evidence that children learn through play.  In addition, authors Michael Gurian (The Wonder of Boys) and Steve Biddulph (Raising Boys) both write about how important it is for boys to have plenty of space, and they need to move their bodies.

Biddulph writes in Raising Boys, “Sitting still at a desk for a long time is usually hard and painful for boys (and some girls too).  In early primary school, boys (whose motor nerves are still growing) actually get signals from their body saying,  ’Move around. Use me.’ To a stressed-out first grade teacher, this looks like misbehavior.”  (This is in a section titled “Starting School: Why Boys Should Start Later.”)

I probably don’t have to convince you how important play and movement is for children (or any of this for that matter), so I’ll leave it at that.  But I will tell you exactly what I’m doing besides giving them ample time to imagine, play and move.  This is where my second priority, Literature, comes in.  The number one “schooling” activity kids this age should be involved in is soaking up books and stories: fiction, non-fiction, oral storytelling, plays, you get the drift.  (The phases of learning mentioned in this post is very intriguing to me, and I want to read more about educational philosophies that support this notion.)

  • We read books often.  If we’re not going anywhere, I have “book time” with both my boys in the mornings, and then we (my husband and I each take one child) usually read one book at bedtime with the five-year-old and look through several picture books with the two-year-old.  We go to the library too, but I’m lucky to have quite a nice collection of children’s books through library sales, so I find we have long stretches of time when we don’t go to the library because we’re busy with other things.

We read storybooks as well as non-fiction.  My five-year-old is very fond of science books about bugs, snakes, the earth or whatnot.

For a long time, I wanted to incorporate another way to foster make-believe with both my boys that I could easily participate in.  I also wanted to create some kind of morning ritual with them.  I wasn’t sure how to do this.  I started “book time” but I wanted more than that.  Then one morning my five-year-old pulled down the finger puppets that were sitting on the top of my bookshelf in the living room.  (They had been there untouched for a long time.)  He wanted to do a puppet show.

  • And that was the beginning of our morning puppet shows.  We all take turns putting on a play, and even my two-year-old will get behind the love seat and put on his own puppet show!  How cool is that?

We don’t do a puppet show every morning.  If we are going somewhere, or if the boys are playing nicely together, I don’t push it, but I do encourage it and ask for a puppet show on a regular basis.   My puppet shows are another outlet for me to impart some wisdom, though mostly I entertain.  (Once I even let their toy alligator try to eat the puppets.  It’s nice for me to have an outlet to do “boy stuff” in a way that suits my energy level.  Afterall, I’m a forty-year-old girl who likes to sit in one place!)

In addition:

My future goals:  In the near future, I hope we can find an art class for the five-year-old.  Long term goals: some kind of art study, music study, and/or creating more elaborate puppet shows.  I’d like to make some puppets or make a puppet stage.

What do you do to stimulate your child’s imagination?  And please come back.  I’ll continue to go over my homeschool priorities in detail.

Posted in A Bit o' Me Philosophy, Homeschooling, Kindergarten, Preschool, Storytelling as a Teaching Tool | 1 Comment »

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January 10, 2012

Setting Our Homeschool Priorities for Two Boys, ages 5 & 2

In my last post I shared our homeschool mission statement and how I brainstormed what was most important to me to teach my children.  But how does that look on a day-to-day basis while my boys are five and two-years-old?  Obviously I’m not going to teach everything all at once.   Instead, I sorted out what my priorities are for them at this time.

I should note that I’m mainly referring to my five-year-old when I talk about specific things I’m teaching.  My two-year-old is happily tagging along and I involve him in what I can.

So what are my priorities for my five-year-old, a.k.a. Kindergartener?  I have read some blogs by homeschoolers with children this age, and it  amazes me what they are doing! I’m impressed how they spend a good portion of their day on “homeschool” whether they use a curriculum or various resources. At first I was inclined to think we weren’t doing enough, but then something occurred to me.  Usually these other families had one or more girls.  Maybe there was a boy in the mix, but there was always a girl. Having two boys, I know there is no way we could sit down and do formal lessons for more than say….twenty minutes (give or take)! Maybe it’s just my two boys, but having read many resources about boys, I’m inclined to believe gender makes a huge difference. Of course, family dynamics can make a difference too, and every family has to figure out what works for them. I made this list for myself to sort out what is most important for my five-year-old at this time.

All of these are equally important to me.  I’ve included some links where I’ve already written about some of these topics, and I’ll follow-up this post with a further breakdown of these categories.

  • Imagination/Play/Motion - Let him use his imagination and be in motion as much as he needs to be.   Allowing for a lot of movement and having ample space for that is especially important for boys.
  • Literature – Immerse him in books and storytelling.
  • Exploration/Nature – Let him explore the world and get into nature as much as possible.
  • How to find answers – Encourage him to ask questions and teach him how to find answers.
  • Spend quality, stress-free time together – Use our time wisely.  Don’t over schedule the kids or myself.  Allow for plenty of time at home for free, unstructured playtime.  Allow for quiet time in the afternoons.
  • Teach responsibility/involve him in my work – I explain why we (mom and dad) need to work, why we all need to take care of our (only) home, and I plan to engage him more in the work/hobbies that I enjoy like blogging and photography.

Notice that except for literature, I didn’t mention any academic subjects.  This is because I don’t feel academics should be a priority for a five-year-old.   However, I am teaching my son reading and math right now, and I do think this is important.  These formal lessons are short and slow-paced, and I’ll explain the why, what and how of that in a future post.

And as I mentioned above, I’ll be following up this post with a series on how I accomplish all of these things.  I hope you’ll subscribe to my blog and stay tuned!  Thank you for stopping by!

Please tell me what your priorities are for your child whatever his/her age might be. 

Posted in Homeschooling, Kindergarten | 13 Comments »

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January 7, 2012

Our Homeschool Mission

Several years ago I read the mission of another homeschool family that I admire, and I liked the idea of creating a mission.  I don’t think it’s necessary if that’s not your thing, but for me, it helps me focus on what I want my children to learn.  This is especially important since I’m not depending on a curriculum.

Our mission is fluid.  Since I’m just starting out on this homeschooling journey, I’m not going to say this is what we’ll always do.  I’m sure my sons’ interests will take us on many varied paths.  But right now I need a compass to put me in the starting position.

So, almost two years ago, I began brainstorming about what was important to me to teach my children, and I came up with these lists.  The first list is “the basics” and the second list is what I want to teach or emphasize.  Many of these categories overlap, but I wrote them out as a reminder to myself.

Then I wrote the mission statement.  Yes, it’s a bit wordy and lofty, but like I said, I wanted a compass to guide me as I began to facilitate my children’s education.  Why not have a high ideal?  

Now that my eldest son is five-years-old, I am finally referring to this list and statement as I plan our activities.  I think it’ll help me focus my time and my blog, and maybe it’ll help some of you starting out too.

I begin with the categories of learning.  *Note that according to Georgia Law I’m required to teach the following: reading, language arts, mathematics, social studies, and science.  The law does not go into further detail about what I have to teach.

Categories of Learning

The Basics:

  • *Reading
  • *Language Arts (including Writing & Handwriting)
  • *Math
  • *Science
  • *Social Studies (includes History)
  • Art
  • P.E.

Mama’s Emphasis/Additions:

  • Storytelling
  • Nature/Animals
  • International Education
  • Religious Education
  • Spiritual Lessons/Life Missions
  • Leadership/Good Citizenship
  • Financial Literacy
  • Foreign Language

Without further ado…

Our Mission Statement:

The purpose of our homeschool is to not only teach our children what they need to know to be accepted into an accredited college (if they choose to do so) but to also foster a love of learning and give them a foundation on which to build a fulfilling life of their own.  We want to enable them to find what will make them prosper: spiritually, in their vocation, and for their livelihood.  We want to create strong citizens who have knowledge of the world they live in and a respect for the earth they live on.  We want to show them that learning is a life-long endeavor and that knowledge and experience are steppingstones to wisdom.

…Do you have a mission statement for your homeschool? Please share it with me.

In my next post, I’ll talk about our homeschool priorities for my sons’ current ages/levels: preschool and kindergarten.  And I’ll explain how I plan to go about fulfilling our mission.

Posted in Homeschooling, Kindergarten, Preschool | 1 Comment »

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January 5, 2012

What Are We Preparing Our Children For?

Note: This column was printed in the January 4, 2012 edition of The Barrow Journal.

For several weeks I’ve been mulling this topic over in my head: What am I preparing my children for?   The question came to me after I read the article, “My Parents Were Home-schooling Anarchists” in the New York Times Magazine.

In the article, the parents homeschooled their children in the early years, but they did not follow any academic standards.  They lived outside the U.S., but later they moved back and both parents got full-time jobs, so they put their children into public school.  At that time, the kids were unprepared academically or socially for the school environment.

The children in that article are adults now and seem fine, though I think it’s unfortunate that many people may read it and acquire a negative opinion of homeschooling.  I think the article had more to say about that particular family than about homeschooling in general.

But it brought the question to my mind that I mentioned above.  What am I preparing my children for?  This is a question that all parents should ask themselves whether they homeschool or not.

For homeschoolers, it is important to consider whether or not you will put your children into public school at some point because homeschooling until middle school may look very different than homeschooling until college.

I experienced a very different culture in middle and high school than I ever did after I graduated.  After graduating from high school, I was able to make my own choices, and I put myself where and with whom I wanted to be.

Homeschooled kids will be different because of their different experiences, and though different can be quite good, depending on their age and maturity, they may not be ready to enter the world of peer pressure.  In my research I have mostly read about the success of homeschooled students entering public school, but parents do need to think about this and make sure their children are ready to enter public school.

On a broader level, I am asking myself this question because whether I homeschool for a few years or all the way through high school, I know I want to prepare my kids for more than what a typical public school education would give them.  All parents do this to a certain degree: School prepares them for academics.  Parents prepare them for life.

But do we?  There are many students entering college or graduating from college, but they know little to nothing about how to manage daily life.  Why is it such a shock to young people when suddenly they are on their own and they have to cook, clean and pay the bills?  Should we blame it all on immaturity?  I think parents could do a better job of preparing their kids, and it should start when they’re young.

Whether or not I’ll be able to succeed in teaching my children academics and how to live a happy, productive life remains to be seen.  But as I go about planning their education at home, I want to consider what their needs will be for their Whole Life, and by “whole” I mean all aspects of their lives: home life, vocations, finances, and spiritual lives, i.e. how to handle failure, how to relax, and how to be productive in this life.  That might sound high minded, but when it comes to my children, I’m not aiming low.

I want to teach my children how to manage a household and take care of their basic needs.  They’ll learn to cook, clean and do laundry.  I don’t understand parents who don’t make their kids do chores even in the name of “they need more time to study.”  When I was in Japan, I learned that their schools did not have janitors.  The students cleaned the schools!  Twenty minutes a day was devoted to cleaning and taking out trash.

I’ll also teach them about money management, and depending on their age and ability, I’ll let them know exactly where we stand as a household in money matters.  I already tell my five-year-old when something is too expensive for us to buy, and when I say that, he doesn’t pester me for it again.

Financial literacy is so important that it should be taught in high school. Kids are signing up for college loans that they may or may not be able to pay back, and it saddens me to know people who have made such bad financial decisions that they’ve created a lifetime worth of debt.

We expect kids to go to school and learn how to read, write, do math, and know some history, yet they enter the world without a clue about how to manage daily life. There is more to life than what schools are teaching our kids, and it’s the parent’s job to fill in those gaps.  Whether homeschooling or not, we need to think about what we’re preparing our children for and give them the tools to lead balanced, happy lives.

Please stay tuned….in my upcoming posts, I’ll be talking about our homeschool mission, priorities, and exactly how I’m homeschooling my young children at this time.

Posted in A Bit o' Me Philosophy, Homeschooling, Homeschooling in the Media, My Newspaper Columns | 10 Comments »

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December 31, 2011

We All Matter

Note: This column first appeared in the December 28, 2011 edition of the Barrow Journal.

Last week I received a touching e-mail from a man in Australia who had found a column I wrote last year about my friend, J.J. Reneaux.  She was a famous storyteller, musician and award-winning writer, and she died of cancer over ten years ago.

He wrote, “I have no great reason to write to you except that I thought it wouldn’t hurt to lend some affirmation to your feeling that she had a good and positive influence on peoples’ lives.”

He went on to tell me how he had bought her book, Cajun Folktales, while on a trip to New Orleans in the 1990s.  His eldest daughter, who is now 23, fondly remembers the tales, and his younger children enjoy them now.

He wrote of his son: “It’s certainly his favourite book and I think will be something, a shared experience, he may remember forever.”  This is important to him because he, too, is dying of cancer.

I was deeply saddened to learn about his fate, yet I was awed how J.J. is still affecting people’s lives…and even their afterlives.  And it affirmed for me a deep belief: that we all have meaning.  The stories we create in this life will keep affecting people well after we are gone.

But I’m not talking about stories we make up and write down in a book.  J.J. taught me that my personal story matters.  How do I choose to live this life?

Last year I also wrote about the kindness shown to me by an employee at the Winder Publix on Highway 11.  There was a terrible storm outside, and I needed help to my car even though I would never ask for it.  Though it was part of his job, this gentleman went the extra mile to help me, and the good cheer he showed me that morning stayed with me all day.

I’m sure we all have stories of meeting people whose enthusiasm for life is contagious.  Sure, there are those who feign happiness for the sake of appearances, but the sincere ones have an easy way about them.  We know it’s real, and it makes us feel good.

I’m not an award-winning writer whose stories will be read for many generations like J.J.’s, and I may not be remembered for bending over backwards for a stranger, but I realize that the thoughts I hold and the attitude I wear can make a difference.  Opening a door, picking up a pen that someone dropped, or even a smile can help a little. Moreso, scowling at the world, cutting someone off in traffic, or yelling at people for no good reason can have crippling affects that spread out.

That pebble thrown into water metaphor comes to my mind:  “Every act of kindness is like a pebble thrown in a pond sending out ripples far beyond where the pebble entered the water. When we’re caring and kind to our neighbors, our actions send rings of kindness that spread from neighbor to neighbor to neighbor.” That’s attributed to Angela Artemis.

If there’s one New Year’s resolution I make this year, it will be to remember that my actions have a larger meaning than I usually give them credit for.  Without my knowing it, something I said, did or wrote could affect someone miles away, long after I’m gone.  I hope you’ll remember that too.  You matter.  We all matter.

Posted in Life Stories, My Newspaper Columns, Storytelling as a Teaching Tool | 6 Comments »

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December 28, 2011

Hiking 101: Getting the Family Into Nature

One of my best Christmas presents was a request from my husband that we buy ourselves some new hiking boots and begin to make hiking a priority and a ritual in this family.  Yahoo!  A mutual love of hiking was part of why I fell for my fella, and we used to go on day hikes in the mountains often before we had children.  Though I know people who are serious hikers and strap their babies to their backs and hit the trails, that’s not us.  I had a hard enough time managing breast feeding, diaper changing and all the other demands of babies and toddlers here in a comfortable house let alone out in the wild.  But I’m thrilled my boys are getting older, and we can be more intentional about getting out into nature.

So we got our boots earlier this month, and we took advantage of the warm weather December decided to bring this year in Georgia. We wanted to break in our boots and start off easy by visiting some local parks and gardens.  It’s a good thing we did that too because we learned that with a five and two-year-old, our “hikes” are going to be more like strolls punctuated with a lot of stops, snacking and complaining.  But that’s okay.  We’ll make hikers out of these boys yet.

And hiking with my boys gives the photographer in me great pleasure.  They gave me plenty of time to find the light while they played by the water.  You can see those photos by clicking here.

The photos here are from Ft. Yargo State Park and The State Botanical Garden of Georgia.

Getting children into nature is very important, and I consider it a goal in our homeschooling lifestyle too.  For more information about getting kids and your family into nature, you might like to look at these links (which I posted in my Worthy Reads a while back):

What’s your preferred way of getting out into nature?

Posted in Field trips, Traditions / Rituals / Holidays | 15 Comments »

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December 24, 2011

The Best Christmas Gifts For This Tired Mama

Lucky me: the five-year-old took over the big job of decorating the tree this year!

Note: This column appeared in the Barrow Journal on December 22, 2011.

Last week we trimmed the tree, or, actually, my five-year-old trimmed the tree.  I assembled it and put the lights on, and then he put on every single ornament by himself.  He got very irritated with me if I tried to put one on.  He wanted to do it all by himself.

I know what you’re thinking, and you are right.  It’s not the most organized tree, but it’s still quite pretty.  At least with the help of a stepladder the ornaments are not clustered at the bottom of the tree.

And this is when I realized something.  Things are starting to get a tad…a smidge…a little bit easier around here.  My boys are five and two-years-old.  They have fleeting moments of extreme independence.

Since their birthdays in August, I’ve noticed that sometimes they play happily without me.  They play pretty well with each other, but sometimes they take off in different directions.  I’m still shocked when my two-year-old will go upstairs by himself to play with the GeoTrax.  He is actually being good.  By himself!

This is the best Christmas present that this mama can get: pockets of free time.  I still have plenty to do, including the dishes, laundry, and write my column, but it’s wonderful to be able to write during the day when I’m not so tired instead of late at night.

Don’t get me wrong though.  These pockets of time last twenty minutes at most, and the boys still keep my hopping.  They fight, the two-year-old can be so fussy, and when I get time to myself, I’m frequently interrupted.

But I’m here to tell any parent with children younger than mine that it does happen!  It gets a little easier.  It took five long years, but it does happen.

It could also be that I’ve been more intentional about trying to relax.  I try not to spend every night at my computer, and I always end the day with a good book instead of staring at my to-do list.  Once a week I’m committing myself to movie night too.  This might not seem like much, but until a few weeks ago, I had not sat down to watch a movie for pleasure in years.

I found out that my husband has been doing his own thinking on how we could relax.  He surprised me by saying for Christmas he wanted to get us both a new pair of hiking boots.  Day hikes in the mountains were a frequent recreation of ours before we had kids, and now that the boys are a little older, he wants to start again and take the boys with us.

I jumped for joy.  Though I frequently take the boys out to parks, I sorely miss going hiking.  We’ll have to stick to easier trails for our young children, but it’ll be wonderful to make getting into nature with the family more of a habit.

So we got our boots, and today we did our first “hike” at Ft. Yargo.  (Aren’t we lucky that we live in Barrow County and have this treasure in our backyard?)  On our inaugural hike, I learned not to expect much.  The boys would rather throw rocks and clamshells into the water than actually move down the trail.  The two-year-old tires quickly, and they both need a good supply of snack food on hand.

But it didn’t damper my enthusiasm.  It’s just the beginning for this outdoorsy family.

I hope everyone reading this has a wonderful holiday.  No matter how you celebrate, I hope it’s a peaceful, happy time for you.  I hope there’s someone with you to snuggle up to on the cold evenings, and I hope you get some great gifts too.

Posted in Motherhood, My Newspaper Columns, Traditions / Rituals / Holidays | 3 Comments »

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December 21, 2011

December & Christmas Activities with Small Children

These are snowflakes that we made last year for the tree. I hung them up in the entrance way of our activity room. They make a pretty decoration.

A while back I wrote about my desire to make new family traditions for my family, and December seems like a great time to do that.  However, I have to admit, I have kept this December extremely simple and I’ve done nothing to intentionally start anything new.  This might also be laziness on my part too.  But right now with a 5 and 2 year old, it feels like an accomplishment to get our regular chores done let alone begin new projects!  So I haven’t stressed.  I’ve just done what I could do easily and what the boys were receptive to.

(However, part of the reason I haven’t had to do much is because my husband initiated a new goal for the family!  I’ll be writing about this in an upcoming post. You can read about that here!)

So let’s see.  What have we done?  We have done what we’ve always done…..

  • We decorated a Christmas tree.  And this year, my five-year-old put all the ornaments on by himself!  That was special.
  • We also put a small tree in the five-year-old’s room.  We’ve done this the last few years, so I think we can call it a tradition.
  • This should have been written up under my “November Activities” post, but in early November, I always help my son write a letter to Santa Claus. This year I forgot to put a stamp in the envelope, but if you put a stamp in the envelope and address it to “Santa Claus, North Pole,” you’ll probably get a reply like we did last year!!
  • My five-year-old and I decided to make puppets with some extra cardboard I found and popsicle sticks.  We drew pictures on the cardboard, cut them out, pasted a popsicle stick on the back, and voila! a puppet!  We made some for my little nephews, and then my son wanted to make some for his friends. (A proud mama moment!)
  • We have been reading our Christmas books.  (I keep all the seasonal books tucked away so that we can pull them out around the holidays and they seem like new.)
  • Yesterday I baked one batch of oatmeal raisin cookies with the five-year-old while the two-year-old was napping, and yep, that’s the extent of my baking for the holidays.
  • This week I’ll let my boys watch some Christmas specials on T.V. if they want to.  We own the Charlie Brown Christmas special.
  • We strung up frosted Os for the tree.  We also did this last year, so maybe we can call it a tradition.  Frosted Os (or some kind of generic version) are big and easy for a little one to hold and string!  (That is, if he’s willing to do it.)  (Also, word to the wise: do not put them low on the tree if you have a dog.  Also don’t leave them on the kid’s activity table while the dogs are in the house.)
  • For an easy craft, I cut out the shape of a Christmas tree out of green construction paper, and then I cut out different colored shapes such as a star and circles, squares, triangles & small rectangles to make ornaments.  (My intent was to help my 2yo learn his shapes, but the craft didn’t hold his attention for very long.)  I put all the shapes and bits of paper into a plastic bag with a glue stick and a few extra Christmas stickers, and I told my boys they could make a Christmas tree whenever they wanted. I wasn’t sure my five-year-old wanted to do it, but he finally asked for it today.

So that is what I have done this December. There’s also a few things I didn’t do:

A simple craft: cut out the shape of a tree and several different shapes to use as ornaments. Stickers are also fun to add.

  • We didn’t decorate the outside of our house.  (Except for a small wreath on the door.)
  • I didn’t send Christmas cards this year. (Needed to save time and money.)
  • We didn’t do a lot of baking. (Except for that one batch of oatmeal raisin cookies.)
  • We didn’t drive around looking at Christmas lights.  (This was a favorite tradition of mine growing up.)
  • I didn’t buy a lot of presents (don’t have the money anyway), make any presents (except for the easy puppets), or invite anyone over for a Christmas get-together.

My main goal this December was to just enjoy the time with my boys, husband and keep up with our daily routine because when I don’t do that, we can all get quite frazzled.  Like I said above, with a 5 and 2 year-old, it’s an accomplishment to get anything done, and routine is important to them.  As their mom, I have to be ready for their mood changes (which can be swift), illnesses or whims (“I don’t want to do a craft, Mommy!”)  I also want to honor daddy’s ideas for family outings while he’s home on winter break.  So, not overwhelming myself with extra chores or expectations is key to making me a good mother.  (At least, most of the time.)

Whether you celebrate Christmas, another holiday, or none at all, I hope this winter season is warm, happy and peaceful for you!  Please leave me a comment and tell me what celebrations or activities you are participating in this December.

Posted in Homeschool Activities, Kindergarten, Traditions / Rituals / Holidays | Leave a Comment »

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December 19, 2011

Worthy Reads about Raising and Educating Boys

Since I have two boys, I cannot help but be interested in information to help me understand the unique needs of boys.  Below is a list of books and online resources that I have found, and I plan to add to this list as I find more.  I hope you’ll contribute to this by leaving me your recommendations in the comments section!  I know there is a lot more out there, but I haven’t had much time to research it.

Books

The Wonder of Boys by Michael Gurian – I owned this book before I even got married!  I liked the first chapter, especially, because it describes the difference in brain development of boys and girls.  It’s fascinating.  At the time, I guess I needed some insight on understanding the opposite sex, but after I had two boys, I sat down and finished the whole book.  I highly recommend this to any parent who has a boy.

Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph – Recently I read Biddulph’s Secret of Happy Children, and now this book is sitting on my night stand ready to be opened.  I’ll be sure to review it once I’m finished.

Online Resources

Bloggin’ Bout Boys – Jennifer Fink’s blog has a treasure trove of information.  She should know since she has four boys.  And she has homeschooled them too!

Why Boys Fail – I haven’t read through Richard Whitmire’s blog yet, but it looks like a good source of information and I want to go back to it.

Interesting Articles

Schools “relearning” how to teach boys - recent article on king5.com

Why Boys Are Failing in an Educational System Stacked Against Them - by Lori Day of the Huffington Post – Very good article. I especially like this quote: “Particularly relevant to this discussion is the theory of “natural learning,” which takes for granted that a learner is a whole person — a living system — and that every aspect of a person, boy or girl, contributes to his or her learning.”

Our boys are falling behind in education – 2010 op-ed in Denver Post

New Studies highlights needs of boys in K-12, Higher Education - article in Science Daily

The Truth About Girls and Boys – a 2006 article that offers a different point of view

Teaching boys to be men - Interesting article about a boy’s school in Kenyan newspaper.  The quote I found most provocative in the article: “Why boys? Though she knows she might sound unpopular, Purity believes that the girl child has been empowered at the expense of the boy.”

Teacher and dad Michael Reist urges retooled approach to raising boys in new book

Anything Boys Can Do…Biology may play only a minor role in the math gender gap: Scientific American

As I noted above, this is my attempt to start collecting resources on this topic.  I’ll be adding more as I find them, and I hope you’ll contribute by leaving your recommendations in the comments below.  Thank you!

Do you think there’s a difference between boys and girls and how they learn?  

Posted in Books, Worthy Reads | 2 Comments »

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December 16, 2011

My Definition of Child-led Learning

I feel it’s important for me to define “child-led learning” as it works for my family because I’m sure there are different variations of child-led learning in each family who chose this way of homeschooling.  (I think that’s great because every parent has to determine what works best for his or her child.)  Unfortunately, people hear the term “child-led learning” and often come up with their own judgment about it based on an arbitrary news report, article or a homeschool family they have met.  I think it’s wiser to hold off on our judgments until we know more about that family and the needs of the children.

For me, doing “child-led learning” means introducing my boys to a variety of books, places, classes, stories, and people.  I am a facilitator and mentor.  As we explore the world together, I’m going to observe what they love the most.  When they gain interest in a particular subject, I’m going to let them delve into it further, and I’m going to do everything I can to help them learn more about it until they are satisfied.  I expect some interests may peter out and others may be life-long passions.

I am going to make sure my children learn the basics: reading, language arts, math, science and social studies.  In fact, according to the law in Georgia (U.S.A.), I have to, but I do believe that each child may learn at a different pace.  I will nudge, but I will not push.  If I nudge I can tell whether or not my child is ready for a specific subject by his reaction to it.   I’m not going to force anything, and I’m not going to test (except when the state requires it).  If I can find ways of helping them learn difficult subjects, I’ll do that, but I think it’s useless to make a child learn something he or she isn’t ready for or doesn’t want to learn. 

I will also concentrate more on helping my children how to find answers to their questions, fostering their imaginations, and helping them learn how to manage daily life.  I’ll write more about this in future posts.

As an example of encouraging my son’s passions, I am currently working on a snake project with my five-year-old.  I am not interested in snakes, but he is, so I suggested we make a book about snakes.  He loved the idea.  Through this project, we are working on his research, writing and reading skills.  It’s also part of his science requirement.  If I can think of other ways to teach him basic skills through his love of snakes, I’ll do it.  For example, we might use a measuring tape to see what the length of a snake is.  In addition, (at my son’s request) snakes are always characters in our nightly stories.

As he gets older, I’m hoping he’ll be more in charge of deciding what his projects are and how we’ll complete them.

I should also mention that occasionally I will make my children do something.  This goes back to my statement above when I said that I would introduce “my boys to a variety of books, places, classes, stories, and people.”  For example, the nature center we go to frequently is offering an after-Christmas mini-camp.  I know he will love this!  But when I asked him if wanted to go, he said “No.”  I know that he just doesn’t understand what a mini-camp is, so I decided that if we could get in, I’d make him try it.  Fortunately, after I took the time to explain what it was about more thoroughly, he wanted to go.  (Too bad it was full! We’re on the waiting list.)  But this experience made me realize that sometimes I’ll have to make him try something.  If he tries it and hates it, we’ll reassess, but trying is a must.

There are other things that will be required of my boys like contributing to the care of the house and each other, but I hope to approach this in a manner so that they understand the value of it and want to do it.  I will write more about this in future posts as well.

What is your perceived definition of child-led learning?  Do you think it’s good or bad? 

Please stay tuned.  After the New Year I’ll be starting a series of posts about our homeschool mission, priorities, and how we do it on a daily basis.

Posted in A Bit o' Me Philosophy, Homeschooling, Unschooling | 8 Comments »

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December 16, 2011

What qualifications are required of parents who homeschool?

The law in Georgia states, “Parents or guardians may teach only their own children in the home study program, provided the teaching parent or guardian possesses at least a high school diploma or a general educational development (GED) equivalency diploma, but the parents or guardians may employ a tutor who holds a high school diploma or a general educational development diploma to teach such children.”

The law only requires a parent to possess a high school diploma or equivalent to homeschool their child, but I believe there are many other qualifications a parent needs to homeschool.  I’m not talking about higher education.  I’m talking about a commitment to their child and to fostering an environment of learning.

Above all, parents who homeschool should love learning.  It doesn’t matter how educated you are, but do you love to learn?  Are you willing to learn along with your child?  Explore the world of ideas and great thinkers?

Parents who don’t like to read are probably not going to foster the love of reading in their child.  Sometimes a child will have a natural propensity for learning, but I believe if given the right environment, all children will want to learn.

One of the best ways to get children to learn is to create an environment full of educational opportunities.  Leave books on the coffee table and children will want to open them.  Be willing to answer their incessant questions and teach them how to find answers.  They will keep asking more questions, and eventually they’ll start finding their own answers.

Parents who shrug off questions or the interests of their children because they are too tired or don’t think the child’s interest is worthy enough are doing a huge disservice to their children.  This is how children learn that what they think doesn’t matter.  They’ll resent learning what others think they should know, and soon they’ll hate learning altogether.

But follow your child’s interests, and it’ll lead you on a long journey that will take you everywhere you want your child to go and farther.  You’ll be able to motivate your child to read and write because he’ll see that by learning to read and write, he’ll be able to do what he loves better! (You don’t have to homeschool to do this either!)

Besides learning alongside your child, you’ll need to take time to research the various options available to homeschoolers.  There are all sorts of teaching methods, and no one method works for everybody.

In addition, parents should learn about their child’s particular learning style.  This will help you tremendously as you decide what approach to homeschooling you want to take.  Discover Your Child’s Learning Style by Mariaemma Willis and Victoria Kindle Hodson or similar text is a must-read for all parents.

Homeschooling comes with its own sacrifices.  Though it doesn’t have to cost a fortune, most families who homeschool live on one income.  However, some parents manage to both work, and there are single parents who homeschool too, but whatever your situation, it will certainly be a sacrifice on your time.

Every mother knows that her free time diminishes with each child she has, but homeschooling mothers, especially, get little free time.  It can be frustrating and exhausting, especially if you don’t have a good support network of friends and family.

Depending on where you live, you may have to drive to find other homeschoolers or activities and classes to join.  Homeschooling parents have to be willing to get out there and meet other families and children so that their kids can socialize.  This can be easier said than done, but fortunately there are more and more opportunities for homeschoolers to get together.

Just like parenting in general, homeschooling parents need to be flexible and willing to change if their approach isn’t working.  They need to listen to their child and the needs of the whole family.  If you are a controlling person with an inflexible agenda, you will have a tough time homeschooling.

Helen Keller’s teacher, Anne Sullivan, said, “Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instruction.”  Parents of homeschoolers will succeed if they are willing to guide their children on a path of life-long learning.

Note: This column was first published in the The Barrow Journal on December 14, 2011.

What qualifications do you think homeschooling parents need to possess?

Posted in Homeschooling, My Newspaper Columns | Leave a Comment »

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December 12, 2011

Kids Say The Darndest Things

When I was a child, my parents had a copy of Art Linkletter’s book Kids Say the Darndest Things, and I loved reading it.  Now that I have my own children, I’m enjoying listening to all their jibber-jabber, “information” they impart to me, and my five-year-old’s endless questions, which I actually love.  I thought I would share something funny that happened in the car today while I was driving.

the five-year-old:  ”Mommy, how do more people get on the earth?”

me: “They keep having babies.”

the five-year-old:  ”Well, how does a baby get into your stomach?”

me: (Thinking, oh man,  here’s that question. Definitely don’t want to try to answer it in the car while I’m driving….) “You know, that’s a really good question, but it’s kind of complicated, so I’ll explain it another time, okay?”  (Whew. That should get me off the hook.)

the five-year-old:  ”Okay.” Pause. “You know, we should have Question Day!“

me: “Question Day?”  (We have cleaning days on Monday, so it’s logical.)

the five-year-old: “Yeah.  We could have Question Day on Tuesdays.  You could tell me how trees grow, and….” (he’s thinking)

me:  ”Wow.  That’s a good idea.  We could do that.”

I wanted to say, “But I’ll answer your questions anytime,” but then I realized that I had just postponed answering a question, so that wouldn’t work.  And I was impressed with his idea for a Question Day, so I didn’t want to put it down.  The real question is whether or not he’s going to ask me how babies get into my stomach on Tuesday!  Wish me luck!

 

Posted in Life Stories, Motherhood | Leave a Comment »

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December 10, 2011

Book: Reflections on The Secret of Happy Children

Recently I read the book The Secret of Happy Children by Steve Biddulph, which is an oldie but goodie in the world of parenting books. The title appealed to me because like every mother, I want my kids to be happy.  I also like the fact that it’s not a long book, and Biddulph writes with ease and humor.

He also gained my trust by writing at the beginning of the book, “I still believe experts are a hazard to your family!  If you listen to your own heart it will always tell you what the best way is to raise your children.”

I liked that because up until this last year, I have been loath to read many parenting books.  I know I’m not an expert, but whenever I start reading about parenting, I get anxious because there’s always something in those words of wisdom that I’m not doing.  I let my kids watch more T.V. than the experts say they should, I lose my patience, and I don’t always remain calm.

Yes, I know it’s normal, but when you start to read parenting advice, the logical part of you that says, “Nobody is perfect, and kids don’t need perfect” gets blurred because you want to be a good parent.

But it’s better to be informed.  How can we get better if we never educate ourselves?  So I read the book, and I’m glad I did.  I know I won’t be perfect, but it gave me some things to think about.

In his first chapter, Biddulph talks about the negative programming parents give their children when they are unaware of it.  Most of us adults come equipped with the programming our parents gave us.  Did they tell you that you would never amount to anything?  Compare you to someone else?  Tell you that you were lazy or selfish?

“Children,” Biddulph writes, “with their brilliant, perceptive ways, will usually live up to our expectations!”

He writes that while any of us would recognize the extreme negative statements, most of the programming is subtler.  “Observe children playing in a vacant lot, climbing trees,” he writes, “‘You’ll fall!’ ‘Watch out!’ ‘You’ll slip!’ cries the voice of their anxious mother….”

“Don’t be a pest” is one example he also gives, and I have to admit, I have used that myself.  If used continually, this kind of talk will create “seeds that will grow and shape the child’s self-image, eventually becoming part of his personality.”

I think it’s hard to be conscious of everything we say to our children.  When I’m tired and burned out by being a mother, who knows what kind of messages I’m sending just with my attitude?  But since I read his book, I’ve been making strides at keeping myself more well rested and with a grateful attitude.  I know I’m a more uplifting mom when I can do that.

The rest of the book offers alternatives to this kind of parenting, including chapters on “active listening” and the “assertive parent” (vs. the aggressive or passive parent).  It covers what to do with tantrums, whining, and reminds us to foster a healthy relationship with our partners and also to take care of our own needs.

What stuck with me the most was his chapter on “What Children Really Want.”  Though it should be common sense, every parent can use the reminder that when kids act up, it means that they have unmet needs.  And usually what they want the most is our love and attention.  Not half-the-attention-on-them and half-the-attention-on-our-smart-phones, but our full attention.

I read somewhere else recently that toddlers need at least one hour of sit-our-butts-on-the-floor and play with them per day.  This may not seem like a long time, but if you are a parent, you know one hour is a very long time to sit and give our full attention to playful activities that are thrilling to children yet mind-numbing to adults.

Biddulph says parents should give their children (of all ages) at least half an hour a day of full attention.  Let the rest of the world go, and listen, play, be with your child.  That’s not much time in the big scheme of things.

I am a stay-at-home mom with the luxury of time with my children, but even I can use that advice.  Adults have stress and work that takes our minds away from our kids even when we’re with them.  So I appreciate the parenting advice Biddulph gives, and I highly recommend this book to any parent looking for more insights on how to raise happy kids.

Note: This column originally appeared in the October 7, 2011 edition of the Barrow Journal.

Posted in Books, My Newspaper Columns | 3 Comments »

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December 7, 2011

Gift Ideas for Home Educators

Someone's first Christmas

Do you have homeschooled children on your gift list this holiday season?  Or some precocious children who love to learn?

Homeschooling can be expensive or inexpensive, depending on how much parents decide to invest in it.  Curriculums can cost a pretty penny, but a lot of homeschoolers do without and use materials that they can find at the library or in thrift stores.

Still, the best way to get a child to learn is to lay some interesting materials around the house – a book on the coffee table, art supplies in an accessible bin, a game on a low shelf.  If they think that they are discovering it themselves, they are more likely to want to know all about it!  So homeschoolers will appreciate any extra help they can get to offer fun, educational tools to their children.

Here are some ideas they might love:

  • Family Memberships – What venues do they like to go to?  Most museums, zoos, aquariums and other centers have family or individual memberships that will allow a family/person to have free admission and/or discounts at the facility for a full year.  If you know that the family lives close enough to such a place, it might be perfect for them!
  • Art Supplies – I’m not talking about crayons and markers that you can buy at any grocery store (though kids love and need those too), but real art supplies that you can buy at art stores can make a wonderful gift.  If you don’t think it’s worth buying children good quality art supplies, I suggest you read this post at Camp Creek Blog, “In Praise of High Quality Art Materials.”
  • Ask what they need – You may just want to ask what they need.  Do you know what kind of teaching method they are using?  You may find a store that specializes in it.  In addition, for homeschooling families who purchase curriculum, they may appreciate it if you could chip in on the cost because some curriculums can be quite expensive.  Or perhaps there are certain books or other resources they want but aren’t able to afford.
  • Let’s not forget books, especially if there’s a subject the children are interested in or studying.  And remember, gift certificates will be appreciated too!

Here are some cool online stores that may help you find that perfect gift:

Are you a homeschooler with a wish list?  Please tell me what you would like to receive for gifts this year! Or do you know of another cool place to buy educational items?  Do you make them yourself?  Let me know!

Posted in Homeschooling, Resources for Georgia Homeschoolers | 4 Comments »

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December 1, 2011

The Best-laid Plans of Parents with Small Children

Note: This column first appeared in the Barrow Journal on November 30, 2011.

As you know from my previous column, we were looking forward to our first Thanksgiving at home with just the four of us.  No traveling.  No need to power clean the house.  Just a quiet, relaxing day with a turkey dinner.  Unfortunately, my two-year-old woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning. It’s typical at his age to have tantrums.  He wants to be more independent, and he can’t always communicate his needs, which leads to a lot of frustration.  It’s stressful being two.

However, there are some days when he’ll go from calm to tempest quicker and more frequently throughout the day.  Is it the terrible twos?  Teething? “Unmet needs” as the family therapist says in the parenting book that is sitting on my bedside table? If I knew what his unmet needs were, I would gladly take care of them!

I have no idea why he is like this sometimes. Unfortunately, he picked Thanksgiving to have an off day.  We all have off days, don’t we? Two-year-olds are not excluded from that.

He cried and pointed to objects that he wanted and then didn’t want after I handed them to him.  He slept well, I held him and played with him, yet he was unsettled all day.

Mid-morning I changed his diaper and he decided he didn’t want to wear another one.  Okay, I thought, we don’t have to go anywhere; we’ll start potty training on Thanksgiving.  Not what I had planned, but I’m game.  Fortunately, it didn’t take long for him to find out why diapers are helpful.  To clean him up, I put him in the bathtub, and his older brother stayed in the bathroom, and they played together with the water and toys for a long time.  That wasn’t so bad.

After the bath, he screamed about the clothes he had to wear.  Did I mention he’s refusing to wear a coat outside and has to pull his long sleeves up on his arms?  Oh yes, he’s spirited.  Someday that spirit will serve him well.  For now, it will cause more gray hairs on his mama’s head.

Right before dinner he was upset too, crying as I helped my husband put the finishing touches on our dinner table.  (A big thanks to my husband for cooking the Thanksgiving turkey.)  With a child clinging to my leg, I finished the mashed potatoes.

By the time I sat down at the dinner table I was sweating, my husband was irritable, but the two-year-old was finally happy eating his meal.  That’s all we were thankful for at that moment.

The day wasn’t all bad, though.  In the morning my boys and I put on some finger puppet shows, and during the two-year-old’s nap, my five-year-old and I played outside in the beautiful weather, and in the evening, we watched a movie.

Later that night I was reading Falling Through Space: The Journals of Ellen Gilchrist.  In one essay she wrote about spending 38 hours alone with her two grandchildren, ages 4 and 1.

She states, “I am here to report that taking care of small children is the single most exciting, complicated, difficult, creative and maddening job on all the green earth.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself, but I’m still grateful for my boys, bad days and all.

How do you deal with the unpredictability of children?

Posted in Life Stories, Motherhood, My Newspaper Columns, Traditions / Rituals / Holidays | 2 Comments »

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November 29, 2011

Worthy Reads & Blog Update

BLOG UPDATE

  1. My first blog update is that I’m changing the title of “Good Reads” to “Worthy Reads.”  This is because I realized that sometimes I find articles or videos on homeschooling or other subjects that I don’t necessarily think are good, but perhaps they are worthy to share and discuss.
  2. My second update is that I’ve added a Table of Contents to my blog!  In my attempt to make my blog more user-friendly, I’ve listed my more popular posts by subject.  You can click on the tab at the top of the page to see it.  And if you have any thoughts on what I can add to my blog to make it better, please tell me!  I would love suggestions.

WORTHY READS

Homeschooling

  • Dr. Drew on Unschooling – a video from CNN.  Someone shared this on a homeschool list I’m on, and I have mixed feelings about it, but basically I think these short news clips do nothing more than stir up controversy.  They don’t give the interviewees enough time to discuss the issue, and it’s a shame.
  • A Case Against Homeschooling, Really by Homeschooling Atheist Momma offers an honest look at what anyone who is thinking about homeschooling needs to realize and be ready for, if they choose this lifestyle.

Teaching Aid

Getting Kids Into Nature

We love nature, and it doesn’t take much for us to get out into it, but I still enjoyed perusing these links, and there are some very interesting books on that book list I’d love to get!

Parenting

Recently I began to read a little bit about “Positive Parenting,” and I think there’s a lot of wisdom in it.  Here’s a couple of worthy articles I found:

Have you found any interesting or worthy links this lately?  Please share them with me in the comments section.

 

Posted in Blog Business, Homeschooling, Homeschooling in the Media, Worthy Reads | 4 Comments »

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November 26, 2011

November & Thanksgiving Activities With Small Children

In an earlier post, I mentioned that I wanted to create history lessons around each holiday this year.  In addition to this, I want to do general activities to celebrate each season.  However, I still feel the need to keep things extremely simple with my boys.  At ages 5 & 2, they just aren’t ready for big projects or crafts.  When I do initiate crafts, it’s usually me doing most of the crafting, or the boys take over by making it a cutting-up-paper-into-tiny-bits session.  Whether it’s their ages or that they are boys, long sit-down lessons and activities don’t work for us.  (And this also goes for just the five-year-old when the two-year-old is napping too.)

So here are the simple things we did this November to celebrate autumn and Thanksgiving:

  • We had a gorgeous autumn in Georgia this year, so I wanted to celebrate those beautiful leaves.  We collected leaves and laminated them.  Last year I tried ironing them between parchment paper, and it looked awful.  I asked my sister – a first grade teacher – what she recommended.  She said she just laminated the leaves.  Guess what?  It works great!  After laminating them, I strung some up over our window and the doorway into our activity room.  I tacked the others up to our bulletin board, and I labeled the leaves that I knew.  (Tree identification will come when they’re older too.)  (This it the laminator I purchased over a year ago – a worthwhile investment.)
  • We planted bulbs.  And garlic.  I’ve never planted garlic before, so I’m excited to see what will happen.  Planting seeds is a favorite pastime of my five-year-old, which I have written about extensively in this post.
  • We read our Thanksgiving books:
    • What Is Thanksgiving? by Harriet Ziefert – A sweet, lift-the-flap book about a mouse who asks his parents “What is Thanksgiving?”  It’s very simple and dedicates only two lines to the history of the holiday.  It’s mostly about what we do now to celebrate Thanksgiving. I would only recommend it for very young children.
    • The Story of the Pilgrims by Katherine Ross – I highly recommend this book for the approximate ages 4~6 or anyone needing a beginning lesson on Thanksgiving history.  It starts in England and talks about a group of people call Pilgrims and why they left, their journey in the Mayflower, their first difficult winter, the encounter with the Indians and what the Indians taught them, and it ends with the big feast.  It’s simple enough for youngsters but full of interesting details.
  • As we talked about Thanksgiving and what we give thanks for, I used A Child’s Book of Animal Poems and Blessings (collected by Eliza Blanchard).  My boys love animals, so these poems and prayers were fun.  The illustrations are beautiful.  It teaches respect for animals, and it gave me a chance to talk about praying and poetry.  Needless to say, this isn’t a book I will use only for this season.
  • The night before Thanksgiving, I told my five-year-old a story about Jack and Piper and the big Thanksgiving feast they hosted in the forest.  All the forest animals were invited, and on this day, there was no bickering or squabbles.  One by one, each animal said what he was thankful for.
  • Besides these simple activities, I have spent as much time outdoors as the weather permitted.  We visited Ft. Yargo, the Botanical Garden, and spent lots of time in our own yard.

Maybe next year I’ll get around to baking, more crafts and more history lessons.  Or maybe we’ll just spend more time outside.

What’s your favorite activities for November?

Posted in Homeschool Activities, Homeschooling, Kindergarten, Traditions / Rituals / Holidays | 1 Comment »

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November 23, 2011

Creating New Family Traditions

 

There’s a time when old traditions need to die, a time for new traditions, and a time when old traditions can be reborn with new meaning.

In years past, I have always felt a little lonely during the holidays.  I wished I had a big, happy family that didn’t live so far apart, so we could all come together and eat a lot of food, play games, and exchange stories.

My husband and I are usually invited to a relative’s home each Thanksgiving, and we’ve always gone, but this year I did an uncomfortable thing and turned down the invitation.  It’s because I began to think about what kind of memories I want to create for my two boys.

Except for my dad and step-mom, we rarely see our Georgia relatives during the year, so for my boys, it would almost be like visiting a stranger’s house on the holiday.  What do I really want for them?  I want them to remember the holidays in their childhood home with their loved ones.

So this year we’re going to have a cozy Thanksgiving at home, and we’ll make a big meal (big to us, that is), and we’ll start the tradition of stating what we’re thankful for at the dinner table.

This time of year has got me thinking about family traditions in general too.  A few years ago, I had a conversation with my brother (who is also starting his family) about how we need to create our own family traditions, especially since so many of our traditions were blurred by divorce and moving from state to state.

Shortly after having that conversation, my brother and sister-in-law sent me some books about creating family traditions as a Christmas gift.  The Book of New Family Traditions by Meg Cox and Together Creating Family Traditions by Rondi Hillstrom Davis and Janell Sewall Oakes are beautiful books that have given me many good ideas.

Yet I’m aware that the best traditions spring forth spontaneously.  I have to be careful about stating, “Here is a new tradition we are going to start…” What if I’m the only one on board that boat?  Traditions need to be something the whole family enjoys.

We all have traditions whether we realize it or not.  Religions give us many of our traditions.  My family follows the Christian traditions of observing Christmas and Easter, and we’ll continue to do so.  Traditions can also be unique to each family.

In The New Book of Family Traditions, I read about a family that every month during the full moon, they go outside and roast marshmallows in the moonlight.  By coincidence, my family took a moonlit walk the other night.  We showed our son where Jupiter was and looked for constellations.  It was so much fun, I’m wondering if I could make that happen every month.  (Or almost every month?)

Traditions can be simple daily exercises.  Some people say grace before mealtimes; others enjoy a slow cup of coffee in the mornings (that’s me).  Come to think of it, I have already started the ritual of telling my five-year-old a story every night. Even if I feel uninspired and tell him a boring tale, he seems to love it, and I know that somehow this is imparting my love and beliefs to him.

And this is what traditions do at their best: They give a family or community a reason to come together and share their love and commonality with each other. This in turn gives an individual a sense of belonging.  I want my boys to feel that being part of this family is important. When life gets tough I want them to have a place to come to and feel loved.

This is why we’ll have Thanksgiving and Christmas at home from now on, and I’ll be looking for ways to expand our old traditions, making them more meaningful to us.  I’ll also be thinking about new traditions I can add throughout the year.

What are your traditions?  Old or new?  I would love to hear what your family does because it may give me ideas for my own.  Please leave me a comment.  And in the future, I’ll write about what kinds of traditions we have started or renewed.

Note: This column was first printed in the Barrow Journal on Wednesday, November 23, 2011.  You can also view it online here.

And I hope all my American friends have a happy, warm, loving Thanksgiving!

Posted in Life Stories, Motherhood, My Newspaper Columns, Traditions / Rituals / Holidays | 10 Comments »

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November 20, 2011

Where to take kids on a rainy day in Athens, Georgia

1 2 3 Jump in the Georgia Square Mall

I’ve never been a huge fan of malls, but ever since I had kids, I am more than grateful for them.  Although we prefer the outdoors, sometimes you need a different place to go, especially when the weather isn’t ideal.  Once I wrote about our excursions to the Mall of Georgia in one my newspaper columns.

But the Georgia Square Mall in Athens is more convenient, so we go there sometimes.  My kids love 123 Jump, which is a place with toys and several inflatables.  I like it because it’s low key, quiet (that is, no music playing), and if we go during the week, there’s usually not many other kids there.  

The cost:  $3.50 for 15 minutes, $4.50 for half an hour, and $5.50 for an hour (per child).  What’s nice is that we can pay for half an hour, and then if the kids are having a lot of fun, we just pay an extra $1 for another 30 minutes.

If we’re up to it, the Georgia Square Mall also has a train ride ($3 per person), and a toy store (Learning Express).  My kids are pretty good about just looking in the toy store.

Maybe we just haven’t found them yet, but I don’t know of many other places to take kids in Athens during rainy or cold weather.  The exception is Pump It Up, but we haven’t been there yet. It looks like from their website that you have to book a group to go.  If you are a homeschooler, there is a homeschooling group that goes on the second Friday of every month.  You can join the Athens Homeschooling list to receive updates about that.

If you know of other places to take kids on a rainy day around Athens, please let me know in the comments!  

Posted in Resources for Georgia Homeschoolers | 1 Comment »

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November 17, 2011

I Love My Boys

When I grow up I want to be a little boy. ~ Joseph Heller

Posted in Photography | Leave a Comment »

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November 12, 2011

The Importance of Play in Children’s Lives

 

Note: This column appeared in the November 9, 2011 print edition of the Barrow Journal.  Almost two years ago I also wrote a column about the importance of playing make-believe and the research on how it teaches self-regulation to children.  You can read that column by clicking here.

Sometimes I’ll get the question: “How’s homeschooling going?” and I get a little taken aback because I feel as if I should answer: “It’s great!  We’re doing reading, math, science, art and going on lots of field trips!” At least, that’s what I think people want to hear.  After all, if my child were in Kindergarten, he would be getting a daily dose of the above.

Truth be told, though we do a little of that stuff, and I’ve written about it in my columns, my main directive for my kids is “Go play.”  Because when I consider what the most important mission of a five- and two-year-old should be, it’s PLAY!

Play is one of the main reasons I am homeschooling in the first place.  I don’t want my children to have to spend their day at school and then have most of their evening hours consumed by doing homework, eating dinner, taking a bath and going to bed early because they have to get up early the next morning to go to school. 

I’m not saying that schoolchildren don’t play, but I do think that play is at a lower priority when we have to stick to schedules and get homework done.  And from what I hear, Kindergarteners are not excluded from these pressures anymore.

The American Academy of Pediatrics wrote a report on “The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds.”  I recommend that parents read it.  It issues a concern that a “hurried and pressured lifestyle” may be having ill-effects on our children.

It does not say that all activities or after-school programs are bad for children.  In fact, they have clear benefits.  But it does say “…the balance that needs to be achieved will be different for every child on the basis of the child’s academic needs, temperament, environment, and the family’s needs.”

As I watch my boys grow and my eldest nears his elementary years, I increasingly feel that he needs the right balance between structured activity, academics and playtime.  Playtime should take up a much higher percentage of his time.

In “The Case for Play,” Tom Bartlett describes several researchers attempts to bring old-fashioned play back into children’s lives.

He explains that these researchers believe: “The emphasis on standardized testing, on attempting to constantly monitor, measure, and quantify what students learn, has forced teachers to spend more of the school day engaged in so-called direct instruction and has substantially reduced or eliminated opportunities that children have for exploring, interacting, and learning on their own.”

I want to homeschool for exactly those reasons cited above: so that my children can explore, interact and learn on their own.

In a wonderful New York Times opinion piece titled “Play to Learn,” Susan Engel lists what an ideal classroom daily schedule would entail for a third-grade class.  Besides being immersed in storytelling, reading, discussion, practicing computation and giving the children a chance to devise original experiments (just to name a few), they would also have extended time to play.

She writes, “Research has shown unequivocally that children learn best when they are interested in the material or activity they are learning. Play — from building contraptions to enacting stories to inventing games — can allow children to satisfy their curiosity about the things that interest them in their own way. It can also help them acquire higher-order thinking skills, like generating testable hypotheses, imagining situations from someone else’s perspective and thinking of alternate solutions.”

Reading this makes me very excited about homeschooling because this is the kind of school I want to create.  At home, I can teach my children the basics without drilling them or making them work on assignments they have no interest in.  I can give them hours of leisure time to play, or I can plan some outings and interesting projects that they’ll enjoy.

Reading the latest research on play has renewed my enthusiasm for teaching my son and has reminded me to keep asking him questions, engage him in conversation, and, most importantly, encourage him to create his own make-believe world.

Susan Engel also writes, “Scientists know that children learn best by putting experiences together in new ways. They construct knowledge; they don’t swallow it.”

At five-years-old, spending time and money worrying about a curriculum should not be on my to-do list for my son.  Instead I should be outside toting sticks and playing with him.

How important do you think play is for children…and adults?!

Posted in A Bit o' Me Philosophy, Homeschooling, Kindergarten, Preschool | 2 Comments »

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